What stood out the most to me was the "may be".
That line was special because you didn't simply write "maybe". You spaced it out.
"May" you used as an expression of wish.
"Be" you used in expression to exist.
That was amazing. I have to admit.
Sometime the little things stand out the most. Brilliant work. :}
This was sweet. So if one has just innocent wishes with no need for power or wealth just dreaming about love then we enjoy ourselves and when we enjoy ourselves then we are able to give love, that's what this poem told me. I liked very much.
I like the simple lack of envy in this poem; the narrator is self-deprecating in an optimistic way.
"starshine heat" - nice phrasing.
Clear admiration for the addressee of the piece.
Could feel you launching yourself at the end.
I love this. The way that you put yourself into your writing creates a different world that the reader is thrust into. I can picture what you are saying. You certainly have talent.
This seemed like a tune that kept playing in your mind, that you couldn't shake...Until finally you decided to just get it out by writing it down...and when you did, you felt at peace, because it flew. Rain..
to the Lost Boys
I am no Wendy;
but my voice brings you back to me.
And you sit around my feet,
anxious for a story
or a kiss.
Listening to my words
spinning adventures,
like so much g.. more..