timid

can I sit with you?

not too close

over here a little

I want to see what you see

I'll only rest my eyes on yours a moment

before I look back to the horizon

tell me

some private history that amuses you

let me hear the bravado in your voice

as I imagine great adventure

lean closer

so that your hand nearly brushes mine

as you paint pictures in the air

your wry smile

wreaks havoc with my heart

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

there is such power in a mere smile....yes the ending here was my favorite part. I love how you keep that little distance, not too close...asking for the sharing of secrets in seeing what they see. yes be close to me...but apart as well....but that smile....that all encompassing smile, will find my heart and send it racing. beautiful piece :)

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

I agree that this is stunning work. You say little, but you convey so much. I too could see that smile.
"so that your hand nearly brushes mine
as you paint pictures in the air
your wry smile
wreaks havoc with my heart".
I love the images you create here!

[E. M. Murren]

Stunning work. Really lovely poem.

[Ed Hart]

back for seconds...

[Ken Simm.]

A best Emily. Excellently written piece. It has a languid precision that speaks well.

[KUFU]

I thought I reviewed this...hmmm, well, it's still a tad drab for me. Seems like you held back in the sentiments dept. I would have to hear this read aloud to get the real feel of this piece. As it is, I feel it is the framework for a much bolder piece.

[Last Lying Look]

This is amazing.
I love the tone to this piece. It's perfect.
Every word sent a tingle through me.
Excellent piece!
-E.M.R

[Collect-Eye]

This was worth reading again. I'm glad you featured it.

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

I love the tenderness and the closeness in this piece. It's simply about sharing a moment - nothing remarkable about that moment necessarily but they are absolutely content. A lovely little piece.

[Collect-Eye]

is this the saga of the fool on the hill bulleting the blue sky?
because if it is..I like it.
ok I like it either way.

Seriously..this is very emotional and honest and clear..but more than that it's subtle and intimate. Not many people can express/approach something like this w/ such grace and ellegance.

but you pulled it off.

[W.k.kortas]

I think AK has hit it on the head as to the charm of this piece; it works on more than one level--or perhaps better yet, it's multi-layered in its subtlety. It's a mature piece of work in conceit and execution.