Nameless

making do with the only words I've had lately . . .

Your icy breath brushes my neck
on summer days when no one sees.

 

I doubt that you ever

belonged to me.
I don't recognize your spirit.

 

Tell me
what it is you want
and maybe I can set you free.

 

 

Reviews

[KUFU]

I read this last night while I was in a fog of depression. I didn't resonate with me. This morning I read it and it actually connects with my senses; primarily my empathic sense of emotion. As I re-read this morning I fully understand that this work was written maybe during the authors bout with depression. Seasonal or lost love depression; heck, it's all the same and I recognize myself in this poem, maybe the inability to feel last night was a reflection of my own cynical denial. Your longing is felt and registers with me this morning. I like the second verse. I fully understand and empathize with you.

I doubt that you ever belonged to me.
Tell me,
what it is you want
and maybe I can set you free.

The rhyme scheme is a bit repetitive here, but the sentiments hold this verse together quite nicely. Unrequited love? Perhaps. Your devotion to your 'cause' is admirable though.
I like this quality in a person. Women seem to be more able to love unconditionally. This is the mothering instinct that has allowed us(humans) to continue to exist on this world. If we men had to be the ones to love unconditionally we'd be somewhere up S**t's creek.
I think it was Twain who said, "The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco". I got that impression when I read,

"your icy breath brushes my neck
on summer days when no one sees."

I allowed my softer side to hear this one Emily. And today my empathy is two-fold. NICE!

[The Tao of Bri]

such a haunting longing of great emotional angst and depth...confusion and despair...it cuts deep into the consciousness of the reader and allows them to share what you are feeling here by reflecting on their own..you invite us to peer into your soul to find ours and this is the journey we all are on together~ alone....and once ...just once maybe we find that other whole (not half) that resonates with ours so well and then the end comes ...it is so perplexing how it happened...how somthing so mysteriously glorious could be not what it was... how is that? and how does one recover? You start here answering it to get new questions... and the missing pieces are lost in the cosmos without the answers they never gave... Beautifully done~ well said!~

[bob, small b. aka invs]

sometimes it's one line in a poem that i connect with and want to take with me. in this poem it's the line "i don't recognise your spirit". with my best friends and those i love, it's the connection of spirits that hold us together. not their look, or the way they act. it's a connection that's felt. if i did not feel that with the person i was with, it would be a terribly sad thing.
very nicely written and deeply felt. good work.

[FoolsGold23]

I almost got chills reading this one. Very nicely done!~P

[bailish]

Cool! He's holding you, but you'll set him free. Love it!

[Mark Pearce]

An enchanting perspective.

The suspense is killer.

[PoemRodent]

Very nice and conclusive...

Flow and shortness well wrote...

Will reserve further comments because.... :)

"Women seem to be able to love unconditionally..." Hummmm I will ponder this thought.

Love and Thoughts,

Dostani

[Ken Simm.]

Rich and forthright but at the same time lyrical. Excellent writing.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

This is an interestingly creative composition, which I associate, with the breakdown of those original feelings one person has towards another.

Sometimes, we only vaguely see the darker side of an individual's persona; in a relationship, that is the side we tend to ignore (human nature dictates we only initially see the best in a person). When a relationship ends, in circumstances which are not mutual, the manifestation of that dark side can come back to haunt us!

Intriguing and poignant write!

Phill(ozofee)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very interesting piece... I see someone trying to move on from the death of a loved one... once again you were able to capture deep emotions in few words... Wonderfully done.

[An Ordinary Woman]

I wish writers' never felt they were "making do" because this poem captures something very special. I think individual readers will each read what they wish into a poem like this. For me, it could be love or bitter feelings I'm holding onto. I think it is fantabulous and remarkable, Emily