Nameless

making do with the only words I've had lately . . .

Your icy breath brushes my neck
on summer days when no one sees.

 

I doubt that you ever

belonged to me.
I don't recognize your spirit.

 

Tell me
what it is you want
and maybe I can set you free.

 

 

Reviews

[KUFU]

I read this last night while I was in a fog of depression. I didn't resonate with me. This morning I read it and it actually connects with my senses; primarily my empathic sense of emotion. As I re-read this morning I fully understand that this work was written maybe during the authors bout with depression. Seasonal or lost love depression; heck, it's all the same and I recognize myself in this poem, maybe the inability to feel last night was a reflection of my own cynical denial. Your longing is felt and registers with me this morning. I like the second verse. I fully understand and empathize with you.

I doubt that you ever belonged to me.
Tell me,
what it is you want
and maybe I can set you free.

The rhyme scheme is a bit repetitive here, but the sentiments hold this verse together quite nicely. Unrequited love? Perhaps. Your devotion to your 'cause' is admirable though.
I like this quality in a person. Women seem to be more able to love unconditionally. This is the mothering instinct that has allowed us(humans) to continue to exist on this world. If we men had to be the ones to love unconditionally we'd be somewhere up S**t's creek.
I think it was Twain who said, "The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco". I got that impression when I read,

"your icy breath brushes my neck
on summer days when no one sees."

I allowed my softer side to hear this one Emily. And today my empathy is two-fold. NICE!

[Alicante lullaby]

haunts...silently drifts...a cry,an echo...if its for your words..pen yourself out...set them free...

[Adrian K. Smith]

While sitting out on the fence in left field, I took a gander at this work - I took a second look at this piece - I did not try to look under the words to see what may lie beneath, I only tried to find something other than what I first saw. Unfortunately, that odd cold thought that whispered hello with a shout would not be so easily dismissed, regardless of what I would do to think otherwise. There are times when on the warmest of days, we may find that we have picked up an errant thought - a cold idea - that we do not believe to be our own, that we do not recognize, but that simple recognition is not enough to chase it away. It lingers, as if wanting you to act upon it. So you question it, wondering just why it is there and what you can do to rid yourself of it - to set it free. But that is just me sitting out on the fence eating a banana and wondering if I should have had an orange instead...

[O!]

eerie....kinda got goosebumps....

like how u ended it......even if u didnt say icy, this wouldve given me the chills..

x,
O!

[Leo Gems]

A wonderful write leaving interpretation to the reader.. A problem, a person, a nagging thought acting like a shodow.. holding on and never letting go. Finding the solution to set the problem free and let the spirt shine again out of the shadows...

Very nice ink! :)

[Christine]

Oh how haunting. Great Write!
Christine :-)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

the inquisition of a ghost, i doubt an answer is forthcoming. but i think the gulf between the living and dead is not impassable except i think the next world holds no care for this one and cuts the cord of pain and memory from us as certain as the doctor who delivered us into this world. great write, eerie.

[Sarai Akscyn]

The language was alluring ... of another genre. I imagined a summer version of the moors and heather. Something has been lost in translation for me. I needed a definitive word somewhere to anchor this delightful piece. Favorite line: "I doubt that you ever belonged to me. I don't recognize you ... "

[T]

I felt your question as I read it, what is this spirit and what is it asking? We can each imagine, but only you have the answer. Well done

[Salvatore Buttaci]

A strong poem! I love these two lines which powerfully and clearly show the effect of contrast in your poem:

your icy breath brushes my neck
on summer days when no one sees.

Thanks for sharing.

Sal

[run vs remember]

Wow, way to string your thoughts and words together.