Letter in a Bottle

for the Lotus Eaters group prompt #4.

There I was on that red dirt road--two weeks from anywhere--
walkin' along mindin' my own bizness when a glint of Blue caught my eye.
Curiosity may have killed the cat but I didn't have any better sense
and so I went and fished a blue-glass bottle out of the ditch.

It wasn't wicked waters I found when I uncorked that bottle

but a sheet of crumpled paper. And because I had nothing better to do,

lost on an old road in the middle of the day, I read those words.

 

I've wandered down this road alone
I've wandered down this road alone
Too far gone to find a home
I've wandered down this road alone

 

Too far gone to find a home
Too far gone to find a home
My bottle's empty and I am done
Too far gone to find a home

 

My bottle's empty and I am done
My bottle's empty and I am done
All I leave is just this song
My bottle's empty and I am done

 

The last line felt like a whisper on the wind--

a cold chill on the back of my neck.

I looked around and couldn't see nary a soul.

Not a house nor a barn for miles--

only Blue skies above me and red clay below.
I hurried my steps along a little faster.

Time to get on along to where I was headed.

 

Author's Note

I'm wondering if the narrative parts shouldn't be more spare. . . or a little darker. . . to contrast with the blues lyric

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I almost looked around alomst...it is the casualness of it all, could happen to anyone, anywhere. To find such words when you do not expect them would be startling. And there is a neat contrast between the lost reader and the form of the message in the bottle which seems to know exactly where it is. Enjoyed this. Makes me wonder what mischief I might leave lying around somewhere! I think there was a day in London when there was people left books lying around or something.

[Gandré]

Always a wonderful composition, dear Emily. It is contemporary lyric and experimental even. loved it.

[Antony]

There are times in our lives, that someone significant crosses our path, they leave an impression or a subtle taste on our palete, it may be a good thing, or not. it just happens upon us, its significance may last awhile or may not last at all, like a fleeting glance that stays in our minds picture, but the focus never becomes into view.The mesage inthe bottle was a cry for help, but just not quite convincing to you, that is how I read this piece, of course I have stuck out lately in interpreting your poetry, lol. I love how you write, it makes me think.
Tony

[Rain]

I love this. I think the contrast enhances it. Just walking along, seemingly care free, with no heavy burdens on your mind, when you find this message from an obviously tortured soul. It comes across to me as an awakening...your bottle is not empty, and you have a home. This note whispered a message perhaps taken for granted. I liked it,alot. Rain..

[Angel's Lady]

Very nicely written. I wouldn't change a thing. You paint an absolutely vivid picture...was this continued at another time or not? If not, it could be, and if yes, will you send me a read request? Thanks for sharing this.

[Nick Erickson]

I felt the chill on my neck as I read that line, like a soft touch of an unseen hand running across the small hairs along the spine. I like the twist of this message in a bottle, a deserted road instead of an island.
Well done!!

[bluessadmood]

oh dear that was so nice ,it must have been a miserable soul ,lost and can not find his way ,its all dark for him ,he can never find his way out ,I was away thousands miles from home ,sometimes I really felt that way ,away from real home ,i was down and sad ,you think with me ,time stops there ,you falter ,legs go weak ,you think they will not support you,you want to be strong to pull yourself if only for the moment or you are really lost ,very strange feeling,i can feel your words as i felt then ,real nice ,still so sad

[penloverfool]

this piece is wonderful and the repetition exerts further force and drama...

[NCPanthersgurl]

I like this. It's simple and sweet. You're really talented!

[E. M. Murren]

I like this a lot. The song is really lovely and the story around it was fascinating. Fine work.

[Bear]

re-read this tonight 'cause it reminded me of a bottle that my mother noticed under the bushes along the creek line of her property. Oh, we were out there that day raking the collections under those bushes and when she noticed the glint of glass she asked me if I could reach whatever it was... no problem, it was a little glass bottle, with years of dirt upon it. I handed her the bottle and she of course washed it and I'm guessing it's still on the Microwave shelf of her kitchen today. I wonder who left the bottle in that location? The bushes hadn't always been there; perhaps it was a bottle left behind by someone who once plowed the fields decades ago? I'll have to look at that bottle again... perhaps I'll do that Tuesday while I'm visiting? "My bottles empty and I am done." I wonder how many times if any I may have had that thought while I was drinking to much, years ago? ;~) Probably not, I most likely just dug a little deeper in my pockets, all of them hoping to find some more cash to buy another drink. Glad I quit, no longer have the need of drink. ;~)