Adrift

image by Ken Simm http://www.redbubble.com/people/Kenart

On days when

I'm neither here nor there

Adrift in a sea of senseless noise

Battered by waves of unrecognizable emotion,

Floating, just floating.

On days when I have

That faraway look

When you call my name,

Just know, you may have to call again

before I come back to you.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

The poem floated my boat. Once, as a boy I stood on the porch watching raindrops fall form the eaves. I don't know at what point I came to believe the raindrpops were stationary and I was rising, but I do know at that point I fell off the porch. You poem knocked me off the porch

[Emily B]

Falling off the porch is one of the surest ways to know if is poetry

[Delmar Cooper]

Being knocked on your a*s is another.

[alan peter kelly]

Poetry is tearing something up and making it into something else... sometimes, anyway.

[Thomas James Martin]

Really enjoyed this piece. You can really tap into and express those feelings that we all have at one time or another--certainly one definition of the lyric poet.

Tom

[Dezaraye]

Daydreams are priceless. That's the feel I get from this piece ... you're daydreaming and visualizing beautiful things in your mind. Sometimes, it's fun to indulge and reside in such images.

[KUFU]

Emily, I read this poem and indeed get the impression I am floating upon a sea of isness. I like the way you just allow your thoughts to flow. This is much in keeping with pure poetry.
First thought best thought. This concept is often attributed to A. Ginsberg(a giant in his own right), but this concept goes way back in antiquity; even before the Buddhas, to the most primal of man's thoughts.
The ending was a bit of a let down though, but It works when one understands the nature of your inspiration.
Well done, considering that last bit of poetica. ;-)

[Zane Mathias]

Great Write i so relate to this! keep up the good writes Emily!!1 B.p.

[robin]

Hey I've had these shoes on...I like the alienation, stark and foreboding. Yet there is his zany call back concept. Kind of twisted, maybe a lot of twisted, or shaken AND stirred...Is this how they all turn out Em? lol Nice short piece...spooky!

[Jenny Davis]

I sometimes write entire poems in my head while I'm doing the dishes or watching TV and if someone talks while me and my muse are conversing, I don't hear a blasted thing! LOL It seems you have this gift and curse as well...excellent write :)

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I very much enjoyed this poem as I do most of your work. Of course I say, "Why not stay adrift?" Sometimes when I'm adrift and people call, I refuse to be reeled back. Drifting can be good.

[Samith Pich]

Hmm.. this is interesting, trade mark Emily poignancy still there, succently delightful imagery there.

since i can't point out any faults in this piece (as if i ever can with your work) I'm more in the mood to look at various possibilities and bounce them off you:

the imagery of floating, just floating is lovely, but it's present tense when your poem starts off as past - if you wanted it to be linear yo could write 'I float, just float'

i've argued with myself and decided you definately do not need two separate passages

ooo 'waves of unrecognizable emotion,' niice

ta lovely friend

[Candle in the wind]

Some don't realize that they have to call again and let us drift away and then it is too late.

[mattavelli]

This is great!!!
Hey, are you paying attention?
Have fun.