thinking out loud

I've been wandering lost and uninspired for a couple of years now. I joked that my words went away when John did but I'm starting to realize that it is more than that.

 

An old teacher asked about my volume of poetry and I picked it up and read it before mailing it to her. On every page was a different face. Inspired didn't come from within. It came from a community. My voice is my own and finding it saved my life. But I'm not sure I would have ever found it without the poets and novelists that I met here.

 

I can remember being a beacon for artists. They would come to me with a fledgling, shaky little idea and by the time they left me it was full grown and ready to take on the world. I could feel their excitement. My being present seemed to make things possible. I miss that. Especially since the inspiration flowed both ways. I was better for it.

 

My internet situation has been shaky at best the past two years. I have to remedy that. I have to make time to write. Even if it is just something like this. I need to start reading again. There are so many undiscovered poets that I haven't met yet.

 

Part of the reason I pulled away was self-preservation. That's a story for another day. But everything in me says that I have to step forward and light that beacon again. For my own sake. I will find time to be here every week. Looking forward to it.

Reviews

[Beccy]

For whatever reason, hiatus comes to every writer at some stage. I went through such a period when my son was born. He perfect in every way, my relationship far less so and I wrote hardly at all for some time.

Ultimately though, all those thoughts and ideas spinning around in the mind, become impossible to ignore and we begin to write again. It's simply what we do, what we have to do; and I for one would have it no other way.

Thank you for thinking out loud. Beccy.

[...]

Hello Emily, I found this writing intimate as if we were two friends that haven't seen each other in a while and I just opened and read this letter from you. I loved it!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

welcome home. my words kinda dried up quite a while ago, but i still hang around. i just like being around words, whether they're mine or not.

[Chris]

Came by... life has this way of happening.

[Emily B]

my supervisor at dispatch was murdered Friday night. Third co-worker since September 11. Could really use a break :(

[Chris]

Sigh... guess ya could!

[Emily B]

love you

[Chris]

you never know how violent life is - 'til you DO know how violent life is.

[Nadia_2]

Really enjoyed reading this!

[zunie frost]

love reading it......... !!!!!

[Wem Ortiz]

there are things out there so wide that even our human capacity cannot fully devour.
but keep reading keep writing keep learning :) never stop only at the edge we sought to feel excited, never ever stop walking over the edge :) make sure you won't drop just get very excited.

good write by the way.

[Reflexion]

Return to the foundation my friend and swim deep into the emotions and memories that there reside. Do not come up for air until your changed, risk drowning, you won't. Namaste friend! Thanks for your words, thoughts and emotions.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Ty Emily, I have been inspired to do the same.

[kmartell]

hello from Kmartell. Have the same crossroads. Even a few words are better than never. "never" is sometimes a cold sounding word. Glad to run into you again, thank you thank you for your words.