Dancing with the devil

 I looked up at the pale sky at the pale moon and wiped a stray tear from my face. The dark that I had once called home had turned on me. The shadows swirled around the trees, leaving there cold finger prints on the bark and caressing the small plant on the forest floor letting them wither at their cold embrace. The shadows I remember used to follow me and guild me. but their twisted shapes betrayed me now. I take a small step back way from the forest not wanting it to take me. but the wind blew and the braches waved like fingers that signalled me to come in.

I take another step back and scan the forest again, feeling my heart rate increases. The wind rushing forward pulling me into the woods. I take a step forwards listening to the winds cries. but I hear the wind moving in between the trees and the woods whisper of its speed.  I look at the flat land behind me. The plain white house that meant safety. But I started to the woods. I needed to go. The woods call was to strong. I stepped into the dark forest and felt the cold embrace me and the dark welcome me. There was no turning back.

I walked through the trees and the world grew darker and darker. The shadows seemed to come alive dancing with the wind and surrounding me. The moon was covered with small black fingers that were crooked and broken. The wind was howling above turning the quiet night into a choir of howls, that were applauded by the waving branches above. I walk deeper into the woods feeling the small twigs pulled and tearing my dress and leaving small black marks on the white fabric. The cold ground seems to come alive with my steps and to stop me from moving forwards as its vines a bushed desperately try to hang on to my feet.

Finally I reach the darkest part of the woods and I know it's time to wait. I feel the darkness surround me and try to get under my skin, hungry for the little warmth my body holds. The wind rages on, it's haunting song reaching for its climax. The trees sway and the braches take one last shot and grabbing onto me. The night tries one last time to get me.

Then it stops. The wind stops blowing and the trees stop moving. The world falls silent. The darkness swirls around me still as he steps out of the shadows. His pale skin look as smooth a stone and his eyes as black as coal. A smirk crept onto his face and he walked towards me with cat like grace.  His teeth seemed to glow in the dark and extended a pale hand towards me. I knew that I was facing darkness himself. So I smiled and took his hand and simple danced with the devil.    

Author's Note

Umm. This was an odd story that I thought of on the spot... I hope its okay.

Reviews

[Nyx]

Hi, first off I’d like to say amazing writing; you paint a detailed picture with your words and kept my attention gripped. I especially liked the simile of branches waving like fingers and the phrase ‘hungry for the little warmth my body holds’. You are obviously a gifted writer, although there are a few changes I would suggest to improve it further :)
The first sentence: I looked up at the pale sky at the pale moon and wiped a stray tear from my face.
This repeats pale twice, which seems to lessen the sentence somewhat. Instead, I’d try something like this: I gazed up at the pale sky, the ashen moon glow, and wiped a stray tear from my face.

The next part: leaving there cold finger prints on the bark and caressing the small plant on the forest floor letting them wither at their cold embrace.
There needs to be replaced with their and plant needs an s. I’d also add a comma after floor.

to follow me and guild me. < guild here should be changed to guide.

I take a small step back way from the forest < would delete ‘way’ here

feeling my heart rate increases < would replace increases with increase

cries. but I hear < would replace the full stop with a comma

The woods call was to strong = The wood’s call was too strong

seemed to come alive, dancing with the wind < I added a comma here

feeling the small twigs pulled and tearing my dress < would swap pulled and tearing to pull and tear

and leaving small black < would delete the 'and' instead replacing with a comma

‘The cold ground seems to come alive with my steps and to stop me from moving forwards as its vines a bushed desperately try to hang on to my feet.’
I would rewrite this to something like : The cold ground comes alive with my steps, it stops me from moving forwards, its vines bunching around my feet, trying desperately to cling on.

the braches take one last shot > typo here, branches

and grabbing onto me > ‘and’ needs to be changed to ‘of’

The darkness swirls around me still as he steps out of the shadows > would put a comma after still, otherwise it’s not too clear.

His pale skin look as smooth a stone and his eyes as black as coal > looks as smooth as a stone.

and extended > and he extended

I knew that I was facing darkness himself. So I smiled and took his hand and simple danced with the devil.
I would write the last paragraph like this:
I knew I faced darkness himself. So I smiled, took his hand, and danced with the devil.

Hope some of that was helpful and I just have to say again, an excellent, darkly artistic piece =)

[Fleamonkey]

I’m an avid follower of your work (this you know) and I quite liked this short story. It was, in my opinion, a new style for you. It’s almost gothic. A few grammar mistakes and comma splices here and there but overall I enjoyed it. I recommend you get an editor to edit your stories so all those little errors can be taken care of beforehand. I hope to see more like this from you in the future!