Speak to me Rain and Fire

The sound of rain dropping

The pavement shines like silver

Sky so gray and lifeless

Teardrops falling from above...

Shaped to little puddles of water

I stand there under the crying sky

Staring at ripples of curiosity

I stare with utmost uncertainty

Ballerinas dance around me

The feeling of guilt runs in me

Surprised, I just watched them

Where were they coming from?

I tried to make an escape

but they all surrounded me

There was no way out

I was trapped in a hard cage

I wanted to fly but something happened

These two eyes couldn't believe

To see the blinding color of red and yellow

Burning nothing but the icy atmosphere

The dancing group of fragile flowers danced

While I was thinking of my life, I danced too

Gracefully moving with the cold wind

Speak to me Rain and Fire

Everything came to a halt

It was not a dream. Not a reality.

It was..

Somewhere in between..

Completely unexplainable...

Author's Note

I got this from a musical piece. It was beautiful so I had to write something about it. :P

Reviews

[Legendary]

I love this very much.. can't explain it though but i really like it.. i'm a music lover myself and this is so.. unexplainable. :P good job!

[Tracie Skarbo]

Oh wow... this is wonderful... those times in the inbetween are precious indeed. We can take these moments and see into other dimensions sometimes...what is going on in your unconcious is out there for you to grasp if you can figure out the encrypted symbols. Wonderful indeed!

[Stephen Scaggs]

Dear Writer,

A little on the lengthy side, which can be a problem, but overall well illustrated poem. It really does convey your intent to the reader. At times, I feel like there's too much illustration too fast. The ending lines are beautifully illustrated and summed in the last few lines, "Everything came to a halt // It was not a dream. Not a reality. // It was... // Somewhere in between... // Completely unexplainable." Somewhat like an "Alice in Wonderland" but much more practical in an average-every day life than just a fictional story tale.

It's very well carried out. I couldn't find anything here to critique, so it's a good job. Remember to use grammatical punctuation, because it "matures" your poem. Maybe that's just me. I can proofread it if you want me to. And not every line in a poem has to start with a capital letter. I love the emphasis on Rain and Fire as they are the main emphasis both in the title and the first five stanzas. Very well written! Good job and keep it up! 9.4/10.

A Friend and a Writer,
S. W. Scaggs

[Abhinav]

nice write,loved it
the title was eye catching.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wild and crazy dream? The words flowed in the story. You create a wild vision with powerful statements and your very good description. Ending was perfect for this poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Joe]

This is a really good poem. It has great description and rhythm. Great job!