Why?

Why did you have to get drunk that nite and smash up our house?
Why did you break the no contact order over and over again?
Why was it so hard to stay away from alcohol until today?
Why do I feel so incredibly guilty even thou everyone says I have done the right thing?
Why do I feel so miserable at home now?
Why cant it be monday again already?
Why do I feel more at peace at work then I do within my own home?
Why cant you just be here with me and everything be ok?
Why cant your stepmom just disappear forever?
Why cant my friends be home with me on the weekends so I dont have to be so miserable and lonely?
Why do I feel like my whole life is a wreck?
Why do I have to keep living with such pain all the time?
Why cant I just make you better?
Why does your court date have to be so far away?
Why cant I talk to you?
Why do the tears never seem to stop?
Why cant I just rewind our life just a little bit?
Why does it feel like nobody really cares?
Why cant I just hold you and tell you how much I love you just for a moment?
Why cant it be August 25 tomorrow?
Why does time seem to be moving so slowly lately?

Please tell me, Im waiting.....Why?