A very interesting story so far. I like the setting a lot, what little has been revealed so far anyways. It's generally well written, although there are a few instances where I feel that you could do with a bit more show-don't-tell. For instance, when you're explaining what Partial Demons are or about the Demon Dogs, I feel that the flow of the chapter might be better if you gradually let us know details over the course of the writing instead of dumping the explanation in one paragraph. Overall, I'm eager to read more.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you for reading and reviewing my story ^-^ I'll keep in mind the whole show-don't-tell idea as.. read moreThank you for reading and reviewing my story ^-^ I'll keep in mind the whole show-don't-tell idea as I continue writing and when I got back to revise my story and all.
A very interesting story so far. I like the setting a lot, what little has been revealed so far anyways. It's generally well written, although there are a few instances where I feel that you could do with a bit more show-don't-tell. For instance, when you're explaining what Partial Demons are or about the Demon Dogs, I feel that the flow of the chapter might be better if you gradually let us know details over the course of the writing instead of dumping the explanation in one paragraph. Overall, I'm eager to read more.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you for reading and reviewing my story ^-^ I'll keep in mind the whole show-don't-tell idea as.. read moreThank you for reading and reviewing my story ^-^ I'll keep in mind the whole show-don't-tell idea as I continue writing and when I got back to revise my story and all.