The feelings

I can't give up yet, 

I hope i don't forget.

I need a good mindset, 

As I'm not allowed a cigarette. 

My mindset is so depressive,

I almost feel aggressive.

I feel like I'm oppressive,

But also unexpressive.

My emotions are out of control,

I feel i have no soul.

I need to go for a stroll,

I need some console.

I have no fear,

To say i need some cheer.

I'll take a beer,

And it will be all clear.

Reviews

[OldAccount]

Haha I love it. The rhyming is great, even if some of the ideas are simplistic. But you deal with some complex and clever lines, so great job!

[Em]

Thanks so much

[DarkArtz 0703]

elf your getting epically better every time I read and admittedly re-read these pieces... neat work XX

[Em]

Thanks so much I'll keep working. XX

[emipoemi]

Where this is strong - and I mean really strong - is Stanzas 2, 4. In the other stanzas, only half the lines are as strong, the others seem like they've been put in for the sake of rhyming rather than essence. For the first two lines don't seem to be saying anything of any sense with regard to the poem ("hope I don't forget" what?), and "console" in Stanza 3 may be an australianism, in which case it may stay, but the universally accepted word is "consolation" (so this really came across as placed simply for the sake of rhyming). Apart from that, this is quite something. Really makes one feel the struggle between the logical and emotional side of the Self. Well done.