Chapter 4

It’s 2:37AM on August 18^th. I’m not asleep yet because I’m thinking too much, once again. I’m mostly just angry because I’ve messed everything up with my friend, Kyle. I told him that I was planning on waiting for him when I left for college, he didn’t care. And I asked him if I was being stupid by making this decision because he really liked this other girl. He told me I was “kinda” being stupid, not and yes, not a no…”kinda”. He said that he planned on going out with the other girl and staying with her, but I keep having the feeling that he’s going to mess everything up with that. I really don’t know what to think right now and I really can’t even think about shutting my eyes when this is all on my mind. I care about Kyle, I really do, but the thing I fear most is losing him or letting him go because of something or someone else. I’m a very protective friend of him and in the end we are the best of friends, but over time after not talking to him, I tend to get a bit paranoid.

I am continuing my story of insomnia because it is effecting me at the current moment. I can never really sleep when I’m thinking too much about any one thing and something like this, I usually won’t sleep for days. I don’t mind staying up for days, but it just kinda gets annoying and people keep telling you to “get some sleep” when they really have no right to say that because they don’t understand what you’re going through. People have told me all the time that staying up for days on end is not healthy, yeah as if I have NEVER heard that before. Get a life people and stop telling us insomniacs that we need to sleep. Insomnia is a part of us, it makes us who we are today. I’m really getting sick and tired of people telling me what I have to do and what’s good or bad for me, I know the difference between right and wrong. I am old enough to realize what is good and what is bad, I can determine right from wrong. Bottom line, now drop it.