Now

Now all of my life

Revolves around you.

You, you, you.

I can never

Rid my thoughts of you.

You are much too lovely.

And I adore you for it.

Reviews

[Kate Franta]

May I make a request for this poem? I think it is lovely and simply stating what you wish to get across. But I challenge you to double the length of your lines, and for every overt statement of what's being felt ("I adore you for it"), it would be a real treat to experience those with as many of your five (or six, depending on your credo) senses as you can muster. A really powerful one to experiment with is the olfactory or maybe tactile.

I would not erase this poem at all, because it's everything you need. But maybe try another draft focusing on some of the senses? I hope this helps you in your writing, dear.

[Ian]

i like your poem all he is reflects on you

[Smart Zombie]

so simple yet so true! love it.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

again this is beautiful

[capn_bribri]

as Zeitgeist_Manifesto said "short and sweet"
its a great poem
good job

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Short and sweet. This poem is very clever.
Somehow you closed it. Its a very complete
story. I really enjoyed it.

[Luna]

This is lovely. By the looks of your newer poems you have come across an amazing person and I congratulate you and wish the happiest of times. It is always nice to have someone to love. Great work.