The Space of Love's Thoughts

This is about a guy that I have liked for four years straight and how I feel

I space L-O-V-E space Y-O-U

Is that strange?

Many reasons fly to mind as of why.

Can't seem to straighten them all out though.

Tell me: If I gave you a rose

Would you crush the petals in your hand

Or would you say thanks, keep it and remember me often times

When you glance at it without thinking?

The odd thing, is that I know you belong to her

But you still exchange a glance at me

Is that wrong?

Me, I choose to look away...afraid to smile my thoughts

Can't think of anything else

I feel a strong need to say:

I space L-O-V-E space Y-O--U

Reviews

[Chris T.]

I just want to say, we can't grow as writers if everyone always say "aw, I like it. period. it's good." With that said, I thought the first and last lines were clever, and an interesting play on a pretty simple line. Gave the phrase "I love you" an extra dimension, perhaps (without reading too far into it) a glimpse into the way you have to keep those words close to you (if he belongs to someone else).

With that said, a few things to consider. Love is a fascinating topic. We can get very specific, down to the core of how we feel. Why not do that? Why settle on "many things..." instead of showing me what flies to mind? The word "thing" is ambiguous, and leaves the reader slightly detached. I want to feel your pain, your love, through the words. Don't leave me hanging with "things".

You love this kid. Do you really love him? Then don't settle on "smile". Show me the stupid grin that steals across your face every time you catch a glimpse of me. "Show me the love through your words".

A great read overall. I'm just trying to give some positive criticism :D

[Free Writer]

AW! That's wonderful and so adorable! I know how that feels, it's happened to me too many times I think lol Anyways I enjoyed this and it's a great poem. Keep it up! :)

[TeenRomance]

What a beautiful poem :-) I really liked it.

[Sincerely, Alex]

I can relate. I have liked the same guy for ten years. We grew up together.
Very nicely written.
I applaude you.

[Kai Muhsik]

I really liked how you started and ended it. That was really creative and I enjoyed it.

[Emily B]

very nice work!

glad to read it.

[Tony]

There will be times in our lives, that someone may cross our path, and we do a double take...it may be a gentle word from them or a flirtatious action, but we can't help the attraction, something pulls us to them. If they are committed to another...we really don't care, we pursue them and in some instances we may even fall in love with them, this is how I read this piece. We all have to follow our heart, even when it may seem an impossible feat. If not, we wonder forever.

Antony

[Marlena]

Awww ^^ I really liked this, you got creative with the spaces XD Nice job :)

[Em North]

i once felt the same way as you describe here in this poem. only i only felt that way for about 3 maybe 3 and a half years. its a hard thing to go through not knowing if whats happening is right or not or if anything you could do would actually mean anything to the guy. the right guy will come around though trust me as i have learnt that recently. he may seem perfect in your eyes now but someday you'll see past him to what is truely the right man for you. a great job on your poem, the description of the emotion is exactly how i'd want to describe it.

[Georgia Gypsy]

I think you did an amazing job of expressing yourself here. Having a crush is tough, been there. 4 years?...did that too.
True love will come, when you aren't looking too hard. It helps to find yourself first. Writing is a good start, and foundation.
Keep writing!

[Steely]

That's an amazing poem. I like how it relates to romance in a mature way, yet still in a way that references what teens and preteens should think of it as. :-)

- Steely the Hawketh