Nothing to write about

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou

Noah Woods stared at the blank computer screen, the flashing of the small little line on his word processor driving him crazy. Try as he might, he could not think of what it was called. He thought, and thought, but couldn't think of what what it was called. It was driving him crazy, so he decided to check online. First, to check facebook. He scrolled down for a minute, seeing at least 20 different posts about one of his friends liking a page or the status of someone he didn't know. He started to boot up Farmville, when he remembered why he was online in the first place. Searched through 5 pages, not coming up with any results. Decided to check his email, more ads. This time, for natural male enhancement, which he really didn't need. Really, he didn't, ask any of his exes. He closed his web browser, and went back to the blank word document, hoping something would jump out at him, but so far, inspiration had not decided to show its ugly mug.

 

He stretched his arms, and looked at the time, 10:43 a.m., surprised he was up this early. He decided he could set aside his writing, doing a few errands might clear his mind. First, he had to find his pants. He put on his socks, pants, and a shirt which smelled a little rank, but it was his cleanest choice, when he lifted up his armpit and took a whiff, almost falling unconcious. He tried to remember his last shower. Last Tuesday? Or Monday? Got undressed, went into his shower and turned the faucet up to scalding hot, feeling a blast of frigid, ice cold water. Climbed out of the shower, remembered that he forgot that he needed to call the super to fix the hot water heater... For the third day in the row. Sighing out loud, he got dressed again, found a shirt, and sprayed himself with deodorant spray, covering his entire body.

 

Noah went through his mental check list. Iphone, keys, wallet, gum, and a pixie stick he never got around to eating. Left through the front of the apartment, opening the gate for a little old lady, she seemed nice. Noah walked to the corner of the street, waiting for the #7 bus, sticking his ear buds into his ear, death metal on at full blast. He gave a frown, his sister had changed up his playlist again. This music did not fit with his everyday attitude. He looked up as he was changing it, almost missing his bus, running to catch the door before it closed.

 

Didn't have the correct change, but he had payed for a monthly pass this month, so he was covered. Thankfully. Sat down in the only seat left open, sandwhiched in between two beluga whales, both scarfing down on sandwhiches overfilling with vegetables, lettuce, cheese, lunch meat and extra meat. Several times, a tomatoe plopped out of one of their sandwhiches, a muffled apology coming out of the sandwhiches was issued each time, but Noah could tell that they didn't really care.

 

Walked up to the bank, his last two paychecks in hand, which he had forgotten to cash in, three weeks straight. The lady behind him, who was actually quite attractive, had her head wrapped up around her head, covering her nose as she eyed me when she thought I wasn't oggling her bouncy betties that were almost visible, even with the jacket on. Got a slap at the front of the line, somehow ended up back at the end of the line, had to wait another three songs on his ipod. He didn't sign his paychecks, so he had to wait in line... again, the teller wouldn't let him sign it up front and hold up the line. 

 

Irritated, he walked over to the bus stop, had to wait almost a full hour for the next bus to arrive a half hour late. Construction work had held it back, Noah didn't have to sit with anyone this time. Got out at his next destination, the grocery store. Before he went in, he decided to call his super, ended up in a long argument over when rent should and should not be due and how he had just cashed his check and could he please not be kicked out of his apartment for being a day late?

 

Went through each aisle, grabbing items that he needed from the list he had made on his iphone. Milk, cheese, toilet paper, bread, mayo, bacon, shampoo, deodorant, bacon and paper towels... And more bacon. Cost was half of one of his paychecks, he really needed to do more small grocery stops. Called his grandma who had told him she would give him a ride from the grocery store, said she was at the dentist, would have to wait in the now blazing sun for over two hours. Found a starbucks to hole up for half the time, finally giving in to the screaming manager to get the f**k out, sitting down on the curb, pissed as hell.

 

Grandma showed up to the song Get Low by Lil Jon. Noah got scolded for listening to dirty music, he thanked her for a ride home. Asked if he could make a pit stop, ended up in front of his ex-girlfriends house, begging her to come out so he could explain why, in his drunken stupor, he had thought his sister was actually her. Got a bottle of water chucked at his head, missed his head and hit his shoulder. Grandma took him to the emergency room, thought he might be dying. Kind of wished he was.

 

Noah woke up in his room, naked, wondering how he had gotten there, the sky completely dark. Called Grandma, got yelled at for waking her up and calling her at 11 at night. Was told he had been given medication by accident, made him loopy. He had tried to make out with her dashboard and had shown her his... Well, she wouldn't be giving him a ride anytime soon. Noah heard a groaning sound above him, it sounded like the building was making the noise. He saw something large and white fall and then...

 

The Herald

November 3, 2012

Front Page Story

Death By Bathtub

In a freak accident, a young man was killed by the bathtub from the apartment above him. Apparently, the hot water had been clogged up by a bunch of hair and had burst the pipes, weakening the foundation underneath the bathtub, causing it to fall through the floor, onto the unsuspecting resident. He had been on the phone with his Grandmother at the time of his dead, but she was unavailable for questioning. More on this story on page 5...