Goodbye & Hello

A short story I wrote one day about a year or two ago. It's about what one boy and his boyfriend go through.

Caleb walked down the street towards his home. He had just left his boyfriends house. He walked up the stairs to his apartment and went inside. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV hoping to find something good to watch. When he found nothing he went to take a long bath, he filled the tub and undressed. He had just laid in the tub when the phone rang. He wrapped himself in a towel and went to get the phone leaving the tub full intending to get back in it. 

"Hello?" 

"Caleb it's me. I wanted to make sure you got home ok." Caleb smiled at the sound of his boyfriend Ken's voice. "Is everything ok, you're not very talkative?" 

"Yeah, everything is fine. I had just gotten into the tub when you called." He headed back towards the bathroom with the phone resting between his head and his shoulder. "So babe, I was thinking, maybe since our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks we could go out or something." He slid back into the tub and sighed. 

"That would be great, maybe I can take you out to the fancy restaurant you've been looking at lately. Well I'll let you get back to your bath ok? I'll talk to you tomorrow around 4ish. I love you Caleb."

"I love you too Ken." He hung up and placed the phone on the toilet seat. He relaxed into the water and fell asleep. When he woke the water was freezing cold and he was a human prune. He got out and brushed his hair as the water drained. He rested a hand over his stomach in the hopes that one day he would feel his and Ken's child moving inside him. "Maybe soon we'll end up with a baby Ken, maybe soon." Caleb walked to his room and laid on his bed. 

Three weeks later at 12:00 AM Caleb woke to a weird sensation, he felt a ton of liquid leave his body. He sat up in bed and saw the blood staining his bed and clothes. He felt a burning sensation in his anus and something slipped out of him. The burning sensation went away as quick as it came. He felt something weird between his legs. He reached into his pants and his hands touched something slimy and warm. He pulled it out and was shocked to see a baby in his hands. 

In his shock he dropped the poor thing and it landed on the bed between his knees. He covered his mouth and cried. He reached for the phone and called Ken. "Please come over, it's important." He noticed the baby looked human so from what he remembered from health class so many years ago the baby was at least 10 weeks. He looked at the door for his room when he heard Ken. "Up here." 

Ken walked in and saw his lover covered in blood. "Oh my god, Caleb what happened to you?" Caleb just pointed to between his knees. Ken looked and saw the baby. "Omg, you had a baby. Is it alive?" 

"No, I think I miscarried. It happened so fast, I have no idea what happened. One minute I was asleep, the next my bed was covered in blood and it was lying between my legs. I picked it up but…oh god. Ken I'm scared. I don't know what to do." Caleb cried as he looked at the baby that was his and Ken's.

"Well, we need to bury it. It needs a proper burial, but first I'm gonna clean you up." Ken walked over and picked up Caleb being careful of what was their baby. He carried Caleb to the bathroom and held him as the tub filled with warm water. He helped Caleb undress and set him in the tub gently. "While you clean up I'll wrap the baby in something so we can bury it. I'll clean up the bed." He leaned forward and kissed Caleb before walking away. 

Caleb's POV

The fact that I had a baby growing inside me still hasn't set in. Even though I saw it I can't believe it. Tomorrow night ken was gonna take me to the restaurant for our anniversary. How could I have been pregnant and not know. How could I have gotten that far without any knowledge of the little life that depended on me? I failed it; because of my negligence my baby is dead. It is a miracle ken isn't mad at me. I keep seeing the image of my dead child over and over again in my head. I cried as the death of my baby sunk in finally.

Ken's POV

I can hear Caleb crying in the bathroom. I looked at our baby lying dead on the mattress. I went to the closet and grabbed a towel I had left behind one night. I laid it on the bed before wrapping my child in it. I looked at the baby's face before I covered it completely. I set it on the floor by the dresser as I removed the bloody sheets and tried to clean up the bed. Thankfully cause Caleb liked comfort there was a cotton cover over the mattress that absorbed all the blood. There was no blood on the mattress at all. 

I carried the bloody items to the kitchen and put them in their own garbage bag. I tied the bag and put it by the door. I walked back and found Caleb kneeling over the towel that held our baby. I walked over to him and hugged him. "I just want to see it one last time Ken, I need to, please." He looked at me with tears in his eyes. I couldn't say no to him. I unwrapped the baby and let him see it. He cried louder and almost screamed. "I'm so sorry Ken, it's my fault. If I had known it would be alive. I'm so sorry." He hugged me as I cried. He was squeezing so tight it was as if he was afraid I was gonna leave him. 

"Caleb it's ok, I know it wasn't your fault, neither of us knew. Now get dressed, we need to bury it." I kissed him before he pulled away and went to his closet. I rewrapped the baby and waited for him. I noticed he winced when he put on his pants. It seemed that stepping into them was painful. I could understand why seeing as he just gave birth to our baby. I felt bad for him; I knew he was going through hell thinking that the baby dying was his fault. 

Caleb's POV

I walked behind Ken as we carried the baby to the backyard. We decided to bury it in the rose garden. Since there was no way of knowing the gender since it hadn't progressed far enough we decided to give it a genderless name. We named it Jessie. Ken carried Jessie as I carried the shovel. He was about to dig the hole and was gonna lay Jessie on the ground. "No! Let me hold Jessie, please. I don't want Jessie to lie on the ground." Ken nodded and handed the bundle to me. I held Jessie close as tears ran down my face like a flood. 

I watched Ken as he dug the hole next to a red rose bush. I wrapped my arms tighter around my baby wishing that it hadn't died. I could envision all the fun the baby could've had with us, I could envision us chasing it in the yard, or pushing it on a swing. Ken turned to take the baby from me and I shook my head. I kneeled, kissed the bundle, and laid it in the hole he dug. I put a handful of dirt over the bundle and stood up. I watched silently as Ken filled the hole back in. 

I already knew I wasn't gonna leave my baby in an unmarked grave. I was gonna go to the store and buy a special flagstone to put over the grave so I would know. After Ken had refilled the hole he held me as I cried. "Come on Cal; let's get you back into the house. You really need to rest, I'm gonna stay tonight." I nodded and let ken lead me into the house. We laid on the bed after Ken made it. I cried myself to sleep around 2:30 AM.  

For the next week Caleb refused to eat or even leave his room. Then as if by a miracle Ken got Caleb out of bed and got him to eat. He took Caleb out to the rose garden and showed him the flagstone they had chosen for their baby's grave marker. Caleb cried and held onto Ken tight refusing to let go. 

~1 Month Later~

Caleb sat in the bathroom with a pregnancy test in his hands. 3 minutes ago he had peed on the stick and hoped that he would get the baby that he and Ken deserved. The alarm on his watch beeped and he looked at the test. He almost screamed with joy when he saw the positive in the little window. He ran to the living room where Ken was watching TV and shoved the stick in his face. "Cal what is this?" Ken looked at the test and gasped. "Oh my god, you're pregnant again. Oh Cal." He stood and hugged Caleb to him. "I'm so happy." 

"Really Ken? You mean it?" Ken nodded and kissed him. "I won't mess up this time Ken, I swear, this baby will make it." Ken was shocked at Caleb's admission. "I'm gonna go make an appointment with the doctor." Caleb left the room and if Ken hadn't known better he would say that Caleb was prancing and definitely glowing.

The next day both men sat in the office of Caleb's doctor Dr. Song. "Hello Caleb, so I hear you think that you're pregnant." Caleb nodded. "So I am gonna do an ultrasound to see if we can see anything ok?" Caleb nodded and laid back on the exam bed. He lifted his shirt and smiled at Ken. Caleb didn't even notice when Dr. Song squeezed the gel onto his belly. "Caleb how long ago did you have sex?" 

"1 month why? Is something wrong? Is my baby ok?" Did I fail again and kill another baby? Will Ken still love me if I killed another baby?He thought as the doctor looked at the mini screen. 

"The baby is fine. I'm asking cause you're 5 months pregnant. The baby is perfectly healthy actually. I just wonder how you went this long without showing or feeling it move." Dr. Song looked at the screen again. The memory of the week after Caleb lost Jessie came into both men's mind. 

But wait, how can the baby be 5 months if only one month before Caleb had a miscarriage and lost Jessie. Was it possible? Caleb looked at the screen and saw the baby. "That is really in me? It's not a fake picture right?" 

"No it's not fake Caleb. That is your baby, that is your son." Caleb's eyes teared up. He looked at Ken and saw his lover the same way. "But there is one thing I'm worried about, there is some clotting on the right side of your uterus Caleb. It may cause trouble for your son when it comes time to deliver." Caleb still couldn't believe it. When he lost Jessie he was actually pregnant with twins. His body expelled the one baby but kept the other. He smiled and gladly took the picture when the doctor handed it to him.

On the ride home he kept rubbing his belly and looking at the picture. "Hey Cal, are you ok? You haven't said anything since we left." Ken glanced at his lover and saw how happy he was. Ken was definitely just as happy. He and Caleb were getting a little boy to love and care for. He wondered if Jessie was a boy like the baby Caleb still carries or a girl. They never told anyone about Jessie and didn't plan on it anytime soon. 

~4 Months Later~

Caleb walked into the living room and sat on Ken's lap. They finally were able to feel their son moving but Caleb hadn't really gotten a belly like most men. Even though he's 9 months now he only looks about 4. Dr. Song always tells them that their son is healthy and that everything is fine. They expect their son to be born within the week, at most 3 weeks. "Hey Ken?" When Ken looked at him he kissed him. "I love you." 

Ken placed his hand over Caleb's stomach. "I love you too Cal, and I love our little boy. I can't wait to meet him and have him sleeping in his crib. I want to hold him and hug him and smother him with kisses." Ken laughed when Caleb tensed. "Relax Cal, it's an expression, I would never actually smother our baby with anything. But I can promise you that he will always feel loved." Caleb smiled and kissed Ken again.

"Ken, I am glad we get to have this little boy together. I never want him to think we don't love him. I will always make sure he know how much he is loved and what we have done for him, including making his nursery." Ken just smiled at nodded. "Well I was gonna take a warm bath and wondered if you want to join me, our son is kicking a lot and I figured the hot bath would calm him down some." Ken didn't even answer, he just stood holding Caleb in his arms and carried him to the bathroom. 

He slowly removed Caleb's clothes as the tub filled. Once Caleb was naked he sat him on the counter as he undressed. Once naked he grabbed Caleb and sat in the tub with Caleb on his lap. Caleb leaned back on Ken, put his hands over his tiny belly, and sighed. "What's the matter Cal, are you ok?" 

"Yeah, just thinking about things." Since Caleb was distracted Ken lifted Caleb off his hips ever so slightly and pushed into him. Caleb gasped and arched back. "Ken…oh Ken. I love you so much." Caleb reached behind himself and grabbed onto Ken's hair. He tugged and turned to an awkward position so he could pull Ken's head down and kiss him. He looked into Ken's eyes and saw love and admiration. Ken started to set the pace as he used his hands to lift Caleb up and down on his shaft. 

"Cal, you make me so happy." Ken panted as he nibbled on Caleb's neck. "I've never been this happy." Right when he was about to come he felt a gush of something warm surround his penis. Caleb gasped and leaned forward. "Cal, what's happening?"

"Pull out Ken, my water broke." Ken cursed and gently lifted Caleb off of him. He helped Caleb out of the tub before getting out himself and walking naked to their room carrying Caleb to the bed. He quickly dressed and helped Caleb do the same. He grabbed Caleb's bag and headed for the car. 

During the entire ride to the hospital Caleb would cringe as each contraction went through his body. He would grab onto the bar above the door and try to breathe through it. Ken put his hand on Caleb's leg and smiled at him. "Just a little longer Caleb, we're almost at the hospital." Caleb nodded and rubbed his belly. 

~Ken POV-5 PM~

Caleb laid in the hospital bed with his hands over his belly. He'd been in labor for the past 3 hours. I stood next to his bed and tried to distract him whenever a contraction hit. "Hey Cal, I just noticed that we never chose a name for our son. We need to name him babe." 

"Yeah, he can't be called little boy his whole life. I want him to be happy, I want to make sure he is ok before we name him ok?" I nodded knowing that he was worried that our son would be like Jessie. I never told him but when I saw Jessie my heart broke into a million pieces. "Ken, a contraction is coming." 

I held his hand and smiled at him. When he winced I used my free hand to rub small circles on his belly. When that didn't work I leaned forward and kissed him. At first he was hesitant cause of the pain, but then he kissed me back and moaned. I am not sure if he moaned cause of the pain or because of the pleasure of kissing but I stayed by him the entire time. 

~Caleb POV-9 PM~

I looked at Dr. Song not sure of what he just said. "Caleb it's time to push, you are 10 centimeters." I felt all the blood leave my face as fear crept into my mind. Is my son gonna be ok. Will he be stillborn? Have I failed yet again or did I finally get it right? "In a few minutes you're gonna start to push with each contraction. You're gonna push as hard as you can." I nodded and rubbed my belly as Dr. Song put on the surgical outfit and rubber gloves. "Now when you have your next contraction push ok?" 

Before I could even reply the contraction started. I put my chin to my chest and started to push hard. The pressure on my pelvis was terrible, I couldn't stand it. I just wanted my son in my arms so I could be sure he's safe. I took a deep breath and pushed again when Dr. Song told me to. I finally felt my son shift a little inside me. I got new encouragement and pushed even harder cause I wanted to hold him. 

"Well Caleb you're doing great. Very soon you'll be holding your son. Do you have a name picked out yet?" I shook my head as I panted. I looked at Ken when he put his hand in mine. Ken smiled at me and I pulled him down for a kiss. I was so happy to be having a baby with him. I cringed as a new contraction took over. "Push Caleb." I pushed hard and felt my son push against my anus. I had the urge to scream but I just bit into my lip. 

I felt the familiar burning sensation when my son's head left my body. I panted as Dr. Song cleaned out his nose and mouth. When I couldn't stand the burning any longer I pushed again. I felt my son leave my body and I cried. "Is he ok? Please tell me my son is ok." I watched Dr. Song as he cut the cord separating me and my son. I sighed and laid back as my son let out a loud scream. "He's ok Ken, he is ok." I grabbed Ken's hand and looked into his eyes.

"Yeah babe, he is. We need to name him now. We can't call him little boy forever even though it is cute." I nodded and took my son when he was handed to me. "He's beautiful Cal. Just like you are." Ken kissed me then kissed our son. "Hey Cal, maybe we can name him Charles." 

I smiled at my son. "Yeah, Charles Anthony Norton." I smiled and kissed my son again. I looked at Ken and saw the tears in his eyes. I could tell Ken was happy that I gave our son his last name. And truthfully I chose Norton because if I had given him my name he would be picked on very often. My last name is Dawson, could you imagine him with the name Charles Anthony Dawson? In no way is my son a cad. "Do you want to hold him Ken?" 

~Ken POV~

"Sure." I took Charles when Caleb handed him to me. I looked at my son ad couldn't believe that he was really here and in my arms. I couldn't believe that he was in Caleb when we lost Jessie. I was so happy that I let the tears flow. I kissed my son as Dr. Song cleaned up Caleb and made sure he didn't tear during the birth. "Well Charles, you are gorgeous. We have a special room for you at home, it's right next to ours. We'll never let anything happen to you baby boy." I smiled at Caleb when he put his hand over my wrist. "You made me so happy Cal. Thank you." I leaned over and kissed him as Charles slept in my arms. 

~Fin~

Author's Note

This was written a while back so it might have errors I never noticed.