Some Assembly Required

Never buy a product that says that.

Some Assembly Required

 

By Elton Camp

 

If a product has these words, better stay away

Unless you want to toil on it at least half a day

 

Pages of instructions the maker will provide

And a list of parts that are said to be inside

 

Expect the tiny print to be impossible to read

There will never be all of the parts you need

 

And the wording will be ignorant and crude

Due to having been written by a foreign dude

 

If to sell to the American market they aspire

You’d think a good translator they’d hire

 

There will be unfamiliar terms and complexity

“Insert dowel A into the crescent arch at three”

 

To purchase a complete product I much rather

And so I never buy one I must put together