Hola, Spain, Would You Take Back Florida?

Come on, do the U.S. a favor.

Hola, Spain, Would You Take Florida Back?

 

By Elton Camp

 

From the time of its first sight

Florida was sure no delight

Sand and bugs and way too hot

Is just about all that place’s got

 

Ponce de Leon learned the truth

That it has no fountain of youth

“Florida is ours,” Spain did say

Till Andy Jackson took it away

 

He didn’t know what he was gettin’

For most use it wasn’t very fittin’

Mainly what Florida became about

A place for rogue Indians to hide out

 

Dangerous swamp, mosquito and snake

It was more than most people could take

But then came the Florida land boom

“Buy down here and have some room.”

 

Many folks did what shouldn’t oughter

And bought land that really under water

When truth came out and the value fell

It put northern suckers into economic hell

 

Now we come to what Florida is today

A place where millions have come to stay

To drink yucky water with a yellow stink

And of disaster to live right on the brink

 

Above sea level they’re about six feet

A hurricane comes and they are beat

If a tsunami should happen to arrive

It could be that few would survive

 

Property values have dropped so low

That many people had to pack up and go

They couldn’t sell for half what they paid

Though a few years ago, they had it made

 

Even a house that’s underwater is no steal

When it easily could be underwater for real

Who wants, when they try to go outside

To find an alligator from which to hide

 

When the ocean level will finally rise,

Those near the shore will get a surprise

If Spain wants old folks with leathery skin

Taking back Florida’s a good place to begin