A Trip to the Opera

It's not for me.

A Trip to the Opera

 

By Elton Camp

 

According to what I very often hear related,

Opera you should attend to be sophisticated

Just the same, it’s nothing I’ve known about

But I finally decided I would give it a tryout

 

How much different from a movie could it be

So I picked out one at random that I’d go to see

The very first thing that caused me some dismay

Was how much for the ticket I was forced to pay

 

I decided to go early so it’d be easy to find my seat

And what a bunch of snobs there were to meet

I figured tank top and shorts would be a disgrace

But you should see how they dressed at that place

 

Man with tux and woman dressed in a long grown

In my suit, uneasily it was that I looked around

Except for being old folks, I’d think they come from

Dancing at the very most fancy high school prom

 

I went in and found my seat to keep out of the way

As others came in, I listened to what they had to say

They spoke of libretto, aria, cadenza, and verismo

I hadn’t any idea what those words meant, though

 

But finally the curtain went up and the opera underway

Then I found I couldn’t understand a word they say

It seemed like some foreign language they were using

Ones who speak English they should’ve been choosing

 

Other folks there seemed to thing that it was just fine

But I wondered why they had to sing every single line

Not that I had anything against hearing a good song

But hours and hours of it was, for me, much too long

 

The story they were telling seemed awful complicated

That I had spent my money to come I certainly hated

And I wished that I’d eaten supper before I went there

But none of the others about any food seemed to care

 

I began to wonder when there would be an intermission

I need to go to the restroom, but did I need permission?

Finally I decided that about going I no longer could stall

Then found the restroom line extended plum to the wall

 

When the opera was finally over I’ll admit that I was glad

Because I never had expected it to be anything like that bad

I guess it’s because I’m a country hick brought up in the hills

But I sure found that going to the opera didn’t give me thrills