The Deacon's Feet of Clay

Don't tell a soul about this.

The Deacon’s Feet of Clay 

 

By Elton Camp

 

At the fundamentalist church, Larry is a deacon

As a truth-teller, he’s thought a shining beacon

“It is the lake of fire into which liars are thrown.

Truth I always tell so I won’t moan and groan.”

 

Larry exemplified the family values type man

Since he had two children with his wife, Ann

“From wicked city women, you boys stay away.”

To the young men in the church is what he’d say

 

When he heard that John went out on a hot date,

He took the lead, the sinner to excommunicate

“You can’t be in this church if your life isn’t clean.

Any who I learn have sinned will find what I mean.”

 

He boasted the Ten Commandments he’d obey

“I just find it the greatest delight to live that way.”

Larry showed to all that he was such a Bible teacher

Because he had in mind to be the church’s preacher

 

It would be a whole lot easier job than his at the mill

And that he’d make more money gave him a thrill

Pastor Ezekiel was growing old and his sermons tired

Larry figured that it might be easy to get him fired

 

He decided that his prospects it might come to advance

If he spoke out against any drinking or song or dance

But once a month, it was off to the big city he did sneak

The spirit was willing, but his flesh, of course, was weak

 

With a bottle in his hand and a cheap floozie on his arm,

Larry felt that he wasn’t  really doing anybody any harm

He staggered out of the bar and toward his car on the street

When to his horror, a member of his church he came to meet

 

“Why brother Larry, this is certainly an unwelcome surprise.”

The deacon knew he was caught so there was fear in his eyes

He envisioned the board of deacons putting him on the rack

As soon as they heard that of integrity he had such a lack

 

Larry said, “He who is without sin should toss the first stone.

So how about if we agree to keep this between you & me alone.

For if you should go home and tell this, then I’m sure to be gone

Keep it a secret.  The good Lord knows we’re not made of stone.”