The Sports Fanatic

About Bubba's mindless devotion to sports.

The Sports Fanatic

 

By Elton Camp

 

No matter what’s going on or about to occur,

Bubba leaves no doubt it’s sports he does prefer

His desire to “follow the action” led him to get

An extravagant fifty-five-inch LED television set

 

He watches any available game both day and night

To dominant the set’s use he claims the sole right

Vital breaking news is being reported on CNN?

Too bad, the football game is just about to begin

 

Nobody in front of the screen is allowed to walk

And in the room, nobody is permitted even to talk

A strong tornado is bearing down on his town?

An emergency interruption and he begins to frown

 

The Weather Channel’s for that, he will angrily say

Why, that announcement made me miss the last play

Bubba is determined that he will fulfill his dream

And see every game of his favorite football team

 

If the money he can, in some way pull, together,

He’ll go in person no matter of distance or weather

He sits in the stands and loudly screams and cheers

While he smokes cigarettes and drinks many beers

 

For my part, I don’t see how such delight he finds

In watching some guys patting each other’s behinds

If sports for its existence came to be dependent on me

Then it is plumb out of luck that they’d come to be