The Football Major

Written as humor, but all-too-true in some cases.

The Football Major

 

By Elton Camp

 

Though the big oaf can kick a football so high,

Of skills for college work, he lacks a good supply

The old saying is true in his case without a doubt

“Behind the door when the brains were passed out.”

 

But there is a provision that gives him great elation

Because he can always major in physical education

He can learn all about the types of sports of today,

If he passes enough courses, he’ll be eligible to play

 

Will he ever be eligible to get his bachelor’s degree?

If there are compliant professors who to that will see

Then he may walk out the door, sheepskin in hand

So a job coaching football he will be able to land

 

Then a “Master of Education” from an inferior school

And as principal, the big oaf will finally come to rule

Though a coherent sentence he is so unable to write,

Others cover up and the coach will come out all right

 

Those far more competent than he, the coach can fire

And in their place, some of his sports buddies to hire

What message to the students does such as this send?

It’s not what you know, but who that matters, friend