Customers We All Detested

My brief stint as a sales clerk.

(Background:  After I retired from the college some years ago, I decided to take a temporary sales job at J.C. Penney in the mens’ wear department.  The pay was laughable, but I had never been employed at anything other than a “professional” job.  So I decided it would be an interesting experience to work there for a few weeks during the Xmas time when they needed extra help.)

 

Customers We All Detested

 

By Elton Camp

 

Mrs. Moneybags comes in every few days

All us clerks just hate her disgusting ways

Tons of clothes she removes from the rack

And never ever does she put anything back

 

Her reply when her own daughter had a fit:

“The workers do it.  They don’t mind a bit.”

When the pompous a*s finally left the store

It took us an hour and sometimes even more

 

There was a teenage boy, came in every week

Always it was a cash refund that he did seek

With some pals’ receipt clutched in his grasp

While long-worn clothes and shoes did clasp

 

We all told him that we didn’t deal in resale,

He always went to the manager with his tale

The boss never backed us protecting the store

Each time he walked out with money as before

 

Another customer was big, ugly and very fat

Little we sold would possible fit one like that

This shoplifter had a very greedy, sticky hand

And from entering the store had been banned

 

She came in anyway and nothing we could say

We had to walk along with her in every display

So she wouldn’t steal, we had to directly stare

While the shameless thief retuned an angry glare

 

And a filthy man who of body odor did reek

Came in, a package of underwear to seek

The next day he asked his money we remit

“I tried these on and they really didn’t fit.”

 

Perhaps the employees’ biggest peeve

Customers who at closing won’t leave

Flashing lights and announcement on PA,

But still the big jerks will continue to stay

 

We weren’t allowed our registers to close

Until the store cleared of folks like those

We wondered what they’d have to say

If we went to their work and did that way

 

I did my agreement to work until New Year

After that, I must quit I had made very clear

My experience with the “real world” was fun

If offered it again, very quickly away I’d run