Julius Has a Bad Day

It was one of those times when everything went wrong.

Julius Has a Bad Day

 

By Elton Camp

 

Only last week, it was late on Saturday night

Young Julius was alone and hadn’t eaten a bite

He went to the ATM at the convenience store

Because he was short on cash and needed more

 

He decided a hundred dollars would be enough

Numbers entered and out came the needed stuff

Julius was a bank customer who knew what to do

The ATM gave five twenties, all crisp and new

 

He turned around and one on the counter laid

For a pack of chewing gum needed to be paid

The clerk took the bill and then nearly had a fit

“This bill is no good.  It obviously counterfeit.”

 

“But I just now got it out of that ATM over there.”

The clerk said, “Where it came from I don’t care.

We don’t accept any of that funny money in here

And that I can keep it, the law makes quite clear.”

 

Julius, his protest decided it was best to drop

When the clerk gave a break�"not to call a cop

“Look, I meant every word I said to you before:

We don’t take fakes.  Don’t come here anymore.”

 

Julius quietly slipped on out of that store

He didn’t have his twenty dollars anymore

As he got into his car, he had a bad thought

If other bills were bad, what could be bought?

 

He decided for him to take the loss was unfair

Julius would spend the rest very far from there

The motor revved and up the road he did dart

And made a quick trip to the local Wal-Mart

 

It was when he paid that his problems did begin

The cashier made a stroke with a detection pen

“Security to register five,” she began to say

And loss prevention came there right away

 

“Look, I had no way to know it wasn’t good.

I’m an innocent victim.  It’s easily understood.”

Security admitted, “We have seen that before.

If true, then of fakes you won’t have any more.”

 

In Julius’ wallet, three more bad twenties found,

Cops had him handcuffed and lying on the ground

“It’ll go easier on you if you will decide to sing.

Give the names of the other members of your ring.”