How Many Gimmies Do You Get?

If you can't come, send a gift.

How Many Gimmies Do You Get?

 

By Elton Camp

 

The story that I tell you is all too true

I used to get as many gimmies as you

Until finally there came to be the day

When that greedy game I wouldn’t play

 

An engraved invitation I was sent one year

About a distant cousin’s sweet little dear

Little Lulu’s kindergarten graduation is due

If you can’t come, we’d like a gift from you

 

Those weren’t just the words they selected

But I very well knew that a gift was expected

No matter that their brat I wouldn’t recognize

That minor fact didn’t stop gift-seeking tries

 

One time a “friend of a friend” had the gall

For me to attend their son’s wedding to call

They also included the URL of an online site

It meant, “This lists the gifts that will delight.”

 

But the one that produced the greatest surprise

Contained a name that I totally didn’t recognize

Next month, my high school diploma I’ll get

Don’t try to come because there’s no place to sit

 

This is why I call “Gimmies” all such invitations

Because gifts are clearly the sender’s expectation

So when you think of “inviting” me, understand

The gimmie will go straight into the garbage can