More Zany Headlines

Another poem about actual newspaper headlines.

More Zany Headlines

 

Actual newspaper headlines taken mainly from http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/headlines.html

 

Poem constructed by Elton Camp

 

Let us hope that they will soon decide:

“Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

 

Surely safety standards this abridges:

“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”

 

We surely expect that the voltage won’t be as large:

“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge”

 

Before you eat, give them whacks:

“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks”

 

This headline is certain to make you laugh:

“Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half”

 

The community was shocked when this they read:

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

 

Not enough training the following suggests:

“Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests”

 

It’s a disease of humans one assumes:

“Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms”

 

As Abel got from Cain:

“Man is fatally slain”

 

The warning should be sounded louder:

“Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder”

 

When she’s sick, she’ll be lots more fun:

“Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One”

 

His honor should someone impeach?

“NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach”

 

Surprises seem they will never cease:

“Children Alleged Shot by Police”

 

Headline writers easily get into quite a plight

If what they compose doesn’t come out right