A Word From Your Friendly Banker

Hey, we are the victims here.

A Word from Your Friendly Banker

 

By Elton Camp

 

The banks say a whole of folks are now underwater

They foolishly did something they shouldn’t oughter

The banker says, “Should have had more sense than that.

What you owe right now pay up, you sorry, cheating rat

 

On your enormous mortgage payments you are behind

And, yes, you know that we most certainly do mind

You dare ask us to work with you?  There is no way

Right now and in full your lawful debt you must pay

 

Excuses and even more delays?  We want none of those

We are preparing papers. On your house we will foreclose

We must be responsible and would rather reside in hell

Than to allow you to cheat our bank with any short sell

 

And because you spent too much, you will be debarred

From making any additional charges on your credit card

You say that the minimum is the most you’re able to pay

Look here, you will never get your debt paid that way

 

Oh, we know our bank was the one who gave it free

But this outrageous outcome wasn’t what it was to be

It’s you fault entirely. You were so foolish to charge

Buy what you didn’t need and build a debt so large

 

And because of how irresponsibly you have spent,

The interest on your balance now to be thirty percent

Here’s yet another way your credit card is going to be

Starting immediately, you now must pay an annual fee

 

Look, you economic parasite, no more checking free

Because of your abuse, such a thing will never again be

Our bank will be seeking to find every possible way

To make certain that for what you get, you have to pay

 

If you act right and savings you should get ahead

We will be glad to see you have got out of the red

But don’t get the idea that much interest we will pay

Certificates of deposit will no longer work that way

 

One percent on your savings is generous enough

Hey, you have to realize the times are now tough

Although the bank will use your money almost free

If you make an early withdrawal, there is a big fee

 

You should’ve known the housing bubble would burst

And before your borrowed from us, put caution first

How do you dare to berate our most wonderful bank!

You are nothing but a cheating, lying swindler so rank