On Buying an Elaborate House

Distinguishing wants from needs.

On Buying an Elaborate House

 

By Elton Camp

 

It seemed there was no reason why

An expensive house not to buy

The banker didn’t make a frown

If we were paying nothing down

 

It was just fine in his eyes.

“House prices will only rise

You will never come to hate.

A mortgage at adjustable rate.”

 

Income will grow each year

Means there is nothing to fear

If payments should get too high

Just sell and make another try

 

Or you may just simply phone

To arrange for home equity loan

That enormous asset you can tap

Never become some clueless sap

 

Never will there come to be a day

When we will take your house away

Though when you are old and gray

The mortgage balance is still to pay

 

But that won’t be a financial curse

Just put the mortgage into reverse

Out of shape you mustn’t get bent

Reading the conditions in fine print

 

Put full trust your friendly adviser

We will keep you none the wiser

For each irresponsible deal I make

It means a commission I will make

 

And a small house for you won’t do

A McMansion is necessary for you

The type of house you knew as a child

Would embarrass and drive you wild

 

To live in a cottage or a tiny place

Would now be thought a disgrace

You deserve to give yourself a treat

And have at least 3,000 square feet

 

Minimum bathroom are three or four

And of bedrooms, you need even more

Don’t let the high cost make you stop

From having a fine granite counter top

 

And to be happy, we also do feel

Appliances must be stainless steel

No matter how much must be paid

Cabinets should be the highest grade

 

A big screen television is not enough

Lacking media room would be tough

Keeping room, bonus room, three car garage

All these should be real, not just some mirage

 

This very wise selection also you should do

Reject any house that is without a water view

And one more necessity that is even better yet

For a seawall, dock and cabin cruiser go in debt

 

We now see it was those days of such wild excess

That brought the US economy to a financial mess

To our shock and utter dismay, finally came the day

When for our financial folly, the piper we had to pay