Giving Away a Cat

We write an ad for the newspaper.

Giving Away a Cat

 

By Elton Camp

 

My wife and decided the time was gone

When our cat was welcome in our home

Although the cat we would no loner keep,

We couldn’t feel good “putting it to sleep”

 

A classified ad seemed the smartest way

To help us to give the odious critter away

To get rid of it we so very hard would try,

But didn’t seem proper to tell an outright lie

 

“Free cat to good home” was the first line

But what to say after that had us in a bind

The cat, instead of meowing to be let out

Soiled the floor each day, despite our shout

 

“The cat has regular habits, you can depend”

Seemed the way the message we could send

Fluffy sharpened her claws daily on the chair,

But that information we didn’t want to share

 

“Her claws stay in such an excellent shape

Having to trim or clean them, you do escape.”

The cat’s long hairs are scattered all about

“She’ll add to your home there is no doubt.”

 

Mice in the house, cat never cares to chase

It is a fact that we are just forced to face

We decided in this there’s nothing wrong:

“With other animals Fluffy does get along.”

 

And another aspect of our Fluffy’s conceit

We have to beg and plead before she’ll eat

So, “She is a cat of discriminating taste

When, before her, any food is placed.”

 

If the cats thinks we don’t treat her right,

Then she will hiss, yowl, bite and fight

So, “Make this cat your own pet selection

And you won’t have to provide protection.”

 

But when we read all that we had written,

We thought of a kid scratched and bitten

Then we decided we should simplify our ad

To say:  “Free cat to any home, good or bad.”