The Fat Man at the Buffet

We nearly couldn't believe our eyes.

The Fat Man at the Buffet

 

By Elton Camp

 

Saturday eve, we thought it might be nice

To go to “All-You-Can-Eat-for-One Price.”

But as we were standing in the line to pay

We spotted quite a man on down the way

 

The fellow would weigh five hundred pounds

Managers came and left with worried frowns

We wonder that, since that one had come around,

They’d take the “All You Can Eat” sign down

 

When he gets in there and his food does choose

Much of the night’s profits they are sure to lose

Rather than a plate, the big man grabbed a tray

So he could pile much more by doing that way

 

As soon as he spied the delicious sirloin steak,

It wasn’t just one or two, but five he did take

Then he came to the huge container of fried fish,

He snatched fast.  All but two of them he did wish

 

Fried chicken he surely must like the very best

He loaded his tray: legs, thighs, wings and breast

Then came potatoes, gravy, tomatoes, corn, rice

Finally, many types of bread did the man entice

 

When the biggest table el gordo managed to find

Then it required two chairs to hold his huge behind

The waitress came over to ask him about his drink

“I’ll take lemonade, Coke, Pepsi, and Sprite, I think.”

 

We couldn’t get our food until more was brought

The glutton had take so much more than he ought

We made our selections, but it wasn’t long before

The enormous man came back to get some more

 

And then when our meal was very near complete,

We saw him getting the dessert he wanted to eat

Chocolate cake, ice cream, cookies, and apple pie

He saw no reason why he shouldn’t all of them try

 

Manager gave a sigh of relief when he left the place

“A man who eats like that is nothing but a disgrace.”

To the cashier he said, “If you see another of those,

Then very firmly tell him that this place is closed.”