A Visit by the Mother-in-Law

I promise to get along with your Mother this time.

A Visit by the Mother-in-Law

 

By Elton Camp

 

My mother-in-law lives in another state

Her annual visits I most intensely hate

For her daughter, I wasn’t good enough

So, from the old crone I get lots of guff

 

“To Mother you better be nicer this time.

She will regret calling you a ball of slime.”

Unless wife I obey and welcome the grouch,

Then for two weeks, I’ll sleep on the couch

 

So I did everything that my wife had asked

My welcome of Mom Bea was unsurpassed

I had a vase of flowers waiting in her room

And I was careful as to how dress and groom

 

I made sure the yard was all mowed and neat

And practiced the best way our guest to greet

Nothing at all must go wrong on this trip

I was determined not to make a single slip

 

“Come in, Mother Bea, and stay a long while.

Your visits are welcome and make me smile.”

But I will admit that it almost made me gag

To have to talk so sweet to that mean old hag

 

“Son, I am so glad to learn you feel that way.

I feel ashamed and don’t know what to say.”

I told her that the problems we had had before

I’d see that they never will happen any more

 

Our four-year-old son from his room came out

To see just what all the friendly talk was about

“Hello there you sweet little dear, Gram is here.

Into this dismal home you do bring such cheer.”

 

Joey then ran over and climbed up into her lap

Around him, Mother Bea her arms did wrap

Our son looked at me and so loudly he calls

“You’re right, Dad, she smells like mothballs.”