There Must Be Idiots Galore

I am on to all their tricks.

There Must be Idiots Galore

 

By Elton Camp

 

Tricks work or they wouldn’t try anymore

So, it seems there must be idiots galore

Just last week, a stranger came by to say

For a small price, I’ll pave your driveway

 

But you’ll have to let me do it now, today

Got asphalt left that I usually throw away

It is left over from a paving down the street

And for me to sell it to you would be neat

 

“I’d like to see your business license, please.

It is always needed for any jobs like these.”

The man squirmed and his face became pale

He knew that for fraud he could land in jail

 

And when the phone rang, on the Caller ID,

“Blocked Call” is the bad message that I see

I decided to go ahead and talk to him anyway

Couldn’t be harm to hear what he had to say

 

And this the proposal that I then came to learn

“On your money it’s twenty percent you earn.”

An easy transfer of funds he wanted to arrange

I wonder who’d do anything near that strange.

 

“I’m so glad that you found me here at home.

So I can trust money to a stranger on the phone.”

That was enough talk to such a lying crook

I then slammed the telephone onto the hook

 

A man later called with congratulations to pay

“Good news:  sweepstakes you have won today.”

I learn that the prize will come quickly to me

If only I pay the small required processing fee

 

But I know sweepstakes never work that way

When you really win, there is nothing to pay

“I’m not interested.  Your money I don’t need

Try it on somebody else who has more greed.”

 

E-mail from a company tells they’re desirous

To remove from my computer a nasty virus

The scan of my hard drive that they offer is free

They will remove any worms or virus they see

 

They claim that they have removed one or two

And for a fee, the rest of them they will now do

But I am on to their lying, cheating little trick

I end the dirty scam with a quick mouse click

 

Most people surely must not be as savvy as me

There is just no way that I’ll be scammed you see

I am about to shut down my computer for the night

But in my e-mail comes an offer that is a delight

 

A fabulously rich man in a plane crash has died

The bank can’t find his family though they’ve tried

All that money is about to meet this most awful fate

It will very soon be taken over and spent by the state

 

An employee would love to transfer it to my account

If I will just share with him some of the huge amount

I must promise that to nobody the transaction to reveal

Because the man’s boss might think he’s trying to steal

 

His country is wicked and corrupt, so it’d not be wrong

Far better that they not misuse it, so to me it will belong

This opportunity I can’t refuse, so I will meet the criteria

Whatever is asked by my friend at the Bank of Nigeria.