A One Way Trip to Mars

The reasons and who should go.

A One Way Trip to Mars

 

By Elton Camp

 

Some say to other worlds we should migrate

And do it now or it may come to be too late

As this planet we seem to want to destroy,

Colonies in space might be a survival ploy

 

This is the idea that has come from those:

It is a one way trip to Mars they propose

The trip would be so much easier to do

If the supplies that are carried are a few

 

Resources there are quite good enough

Settlers plant seed and grow their stuff

Other needs they should be able to find

Even after they have been left behind

 

But what are they supposed to do for air

On a red planet that’s hostile and bare?

Earth would have to keep sending supplies

Without regular shipments, the colony dies

 

If these concerns they may come to resolve

Then serious decisions the trip will involve

Who the “surly bonds” should then slip

And into the Solar System make that trip

 

And it seems to be that it would sure be fine

That they who suggested it be first in line

If any others are also going to volunteer

To those brave souls they should be near

 

If the colony is to continue life as on earth

A variety of people are needed at its birth

Larry King could help the colony to survive

When he gives his reports from there live

 

TV evangelists also really ought to go

They can help by raising lots of dough

Politicians, likewise, are needed there

For heating, they produce much hot air

 

Sarah Palin would be another good pard

Then she can see Earth from her back yard

Governor Arnold’s another to take along

They can always use a man who’s strong

 

Dan Quayle would be another good match

As he could cultivate the “tomatoe” patch

Bill Clinton, too, should go along for the ride

Then from Hillary he wouldn’t need to hide

 

Jimmy Carter is a fine man to have around

He can build houses on the barren ground

George Bush truly needs to be taken there

So then on the whole world, war can declare

 

And take along at least one rich, spoiled brat

Then parents will then know where she’s at

Tiger Woods, the former golfer’s who I mean

He’d be a good woman-entertaining machine

 

There should be a few priests taken out there

To show any small boys how much they care

Osama bin Laden the Mars trip should rate

As he could teach the true meaning of hate

 

Charles Manson would be another useful dude

So none will ever want to become that crude

Bernie Madoff very big can help them dream

Show folks how to build a pyramid scheme

 

A desperate need in the colony is Octomom

So a dozen more babies can, from her, come

Another good passenger can be John McCain

Mars is an excellent place for him to remain

 

Certainly take along an Arab and a Jew or two

So their centuries-long battle they can renew

Republicans and Democrats put among the stock

So they can show the colony all about gridlock

 

The colony can demonstrate old Earth’s worth

Of the familiar woes of men they’ll be no dearth

And so, good people of today, what do you say?

Let’s hurry up and to Mars put them on their way

 

Reviews

[MaryP]

Great piece. Humorous yet enlightening at the same time.
I really enjoyed it. Congrats :)