A Mouse in the House

Kill the pest at your peril.

A Mouse in the House

 

By Elton Camp

 

Few houses occasional mice lack

They squeeze through a tiny crack

They’re known for keeping quiet

And for staying mostly out of sight

 

What had nibbled the loaf of bread?

That it was a mouse, I sure did dread

Then I found the clear proof I did need

On the counter, some little black seed

 

The mouse had left this little token

For sure, he was not housebroken

Saw a streak, small and brown scurry

The critter was surely in a big hurry

 

And then myself I could not longer kid

Of a pesky mouse I just had to be rid

Although PETA might not much approve

Dead or alive, the mouse I would move

 

I baited several mousetraps with cheese

“All right, varmint, take a bite of these.”

The next day I found what I did dread

Traps thrown, but the mouse not dead

 

The only thing that I had really done

Was feed him so faster he could run

The mouse I saw in the living room

I quietly slipped out a got the broom

 

To the SPCA, maybe was a crime

But I would be rid of him this time

Swat and slam right to his head

This time the nuisance lay dead

 

To none my act would I dare confess

Or I might get into some terrible mess

The animal rights would be aghast

“ Duty to the mouse you did pass.”

 

Perhaps next time I’ll nab him alive

Then see just how long he’ll survive

If I release the little old mouse

Into one of those folk’s house

 

 

(In fairness to PETA, they are mainly opposed to glue

traps for mice, but this does show the radical nature

of the organization in that it would make killing of

household pests an issue.  Surely we can decide such

matters ourselves without their help.  Could limited

resources be better spent relieving human suffering?)