Waiting to See the Podiatrist

The patient went to the wrong doctor.

Waiting to See the Podiatrist

 

By Elton Camp

 

To the podiatrist office I had to go

To get some help with hammer toe

The waiting room was crowded that day

But yet another patient came their way

 

“I need to see the doctor right quick

Today I’m feeling especially sick.”

He had a rather strange look in his eyes

The receptionist looked at him in surprise

 

“Every appointment is filled today

A new patient can’t walk in this way.

If to the doctor you need to speak,

Then you must come back next week.”

 

“To see the doctor I can’t wait that long.

I must have something seriously wrong.

I am hearing strange voices in my head

Every day of life I have come to dread.”

 

“This can’t be the place you meant to be.

Dr. Schnellberger is a podiatrist, you see.”

The man looked at her with a grim stare

And it quickly turned into an angry glare

 

“I may be crazy, but stupid I’m not.

A podiatrist I need for what I’ve got.

A regular doc won’t be good enough

I need one for nerves and such stuff.”

 

“I think psychiatrist is what you meant.

Obviously, to the wrong office you went.

But if you have a problem with you feet,

That is the only type of condition we treat.”

 

“You’re in on the plot against me too.

So with this office I now am through.”

The man made a wild bolt for the door

“I’ll never come back here anymore!”

 

The receptionist gave a sigh of relief

Waiting patients grinned in disbelief

I bet the next new patient she does meet

She will say at first, “We only treat feet.”