Alabama or Auburn

What do I care?

Alabama or Auburn

 

By Elton Camp

 

When most people find from where we are,

It’s, “Alabama or Auburn, which are you for?”

The question has an unjustified assumption

That to care about it I have so little gumption

 

To the questioner, it does unbelievable seem

I have never attended a game of either team

To the two schools I am indifferent as can be

I wouldn’t go watch them play if it were free

 

Large numbers of people actually go so far

As to buy a tag for their choice on their car

And on their car’s rear window you’re told

Which they favor in letters so big and bold

 

And they seem to think that it is just fine

To spend rent money for the fifty yard line

Football has become the focus of their life

Far more important than their kids or wife

 

Just how could anything be more lame

Than devotion to such a childish game

If the Crimson Tide should end on top

Sure isn’t going to make the world stop

 

To care if Auburn does win or lose

Isn’t a concern that I’d ever choose

It is not the biggest news of the day

At least I, for one, don’t feel that way

 

Fanaticism makes Alabamians look bad

More so since a good name we never had

I wish more would say, “What the heck”

But many will act like the old redneck

 

To write this poem will make some mad

But to see it in print, others will be glad

Football season creates a circumstance sad

Some families won’t hear a word from dad

 

Did the Tide and Tigers lose or win

My own concern it has never been

I think I will go get the sports page

And use it to line the hamster cage