A McMansion for Sale

Impress all your friends.

A McMansion for Sale

 

By Elton Camp

 

It’s a deal that can’t be beat.

Why, it has 4,000 square feet.

The ceilings are ten feet high.

In this extraordinary house buy.

 

The garage will hold four cars.

It has two dens, both with bars.

You become such a great host.

Seven bedrooms it does boast.

 

The bathrooms number eight.

To use them, none will wait.

Media room on the ground floor.

How could you ask for more?

 

Ignore those who call it pretentious.

They’re only jealous and contentious.

Houses around look much the same.

For styling lack, nobody is to blame.

 

It is located on a cul de sac.

No amenities does it lack.

Builder cut cost to the bone.

He used materials unknown.

 

Many immigrants he thrilled,

As he used workers unskilled.

Who dare say it’s not in good taste?

Or that planet’s resources it’ll waste?

 

The house fills nearly the whole lot,

So little bit of yard work have you got.

Land use is efficient--so very green,

Next house--can barely walk between.

 

Tennis court is located in back.

Swimming pool it doesn’t lack.

Out front, a fountain does spew.

Poor pass and have to say “Ooh.”

 

More houses there for all your clan.

Quite a number now empty do stand.

So there’s no need to worry about noise.

That might come from girls and boys.

 

To see that it is quite new is no trouble.

It was built during the housing bubble.

So you have found a genuine prize.

The Joneses lack a house that size.

 

Why not throw caution to the wind?

This house is a great place to begin.

House prices finally will come to rise.

Payment will be so small in your eyes.

 

Though critics may call it a disgrace,

Saying that it has lots too much space,

Make this fine house your family nest.

All your relatives you will so impress.