Tell Me How You Like My Baby

Tell Me How You Like My Baby

 

By Elton Camp

 

“Come over here and give a smile

While you praise my newborn child.”

I can certainly see why it they’d be lovin’

Since it had spent nine months in the oven.

 

When I saw it, my mouth dropped open.

I wondered why it was they had spoken.

The baby’s face was all red

And it had bruises on its head.

 

A baby’s pate is supposed to be round,

But theirs had a point right at its crown.

The newborn’s eyes are expected to be blue,

But to call his yellow and red is more true.

 

Too, in a highly visible spot

The kid had a lump of snot.

Yet, it wouldn’t do for me to give a frown

Or say, “Your baby’s the ugliest around.”