The Moocher

Most families have one of them. This is about my brother-in-law.

The Moocher

 

By Elton Camp

 

Most families have one or two

“Loans” from you to pursue

Never fail to assuredly say

“Will pay it back right away.”

 

All worthy I am of trust

Never would treat you unjust

You wouldn’t want me to ask another

You will be glad help your own brother

 

I’d do it for you if you were in a tight

So all your debts would come out right

Of my kin, you are the best

Much nicer than all the rest

 

They won’t answer if they see

My name on their caller ID

And never ask me on visit to come

They act like I’m a worthless scum

 

And you must not have any fear

About what I borrowed last year

That loan I am most sure to pay

I’ll get around to it some day

 

My credit rating is all gone

Due to cheating payday loan

I think they are way out of line

To file report cause I’m behind

 

Though to me the car’s quite a treat

Hard on Lincoln payments to meet

Can’t expect me to keep

A vehicle that is cheap

 

From my friends I’d sure get a snub

Without membership in country club

Golf is the game that I love best

Keeps my girlfriend impressed

 

I know you want me to keep feeling fine

With bottles of whiskey, beer and wine

And would sure be a disgrace

Unless I eat in the finest place

 

There’s nothing that appeals

In cooking my very own meals

As you well know, by gosh,

Never liked dishes to wash

 

Hospital insurance is available at work

But anyone to pay it has to be a jerk

Especially with a good family like you

Who’ll pay my bills when they are due

 

So please just be a honey

Send me the needed money

You can expect to hear from me again

Next time that I am in need of a friend

 

Reviews

[Yuppitsme]

I think we all must know someone in our lives like this....
My brother just moved out after spending one and a half years with us. He was a wonderful tenant in that we didn't even know he was there, but a TERRIBLE tenant in that he never gave us a penny the whole time he was here...

The structure of your sentences almost mock the reader....as if the Moocher is sing-songing about his conquests. It makes the poem that much more powerful.

Great job!.... Keep up the thoughtful work!

[munkiC munkiDU]

lol, sounds a bit like my brother! Nice humorous poem. well done ^.^