Breakfast

Another short story written by my favorite character Paperman!

            Hello again, readers! I am glad you have returned for more tales of my epic adventures! Today I am going to tell you about the time I saved Master Pencil from the clutches of an evil monster.

            It all started when I was enjoying a delicious breakfast (breakfast is important, you should never forget that). Suddenly, my Pencil Phone rang (this was back when I still had a Pencil Phone, crazy, right?! So old school). Anyway, it was Master Pencil on the line and he told me there was a monster attacking the palace. I immediately sprang into action. Luckily I was already wearing my superhero outfit. I hear that superheroes in your world have alter-egos and have to get dressed when there is a disaster, which I don’t understand. First of all, I am Paperman, I have no alter-ego. Second, why wouldn’t you always be wearing your awesome superhero clothes? The monster isn’t going to wait for you to change. Anyway, I digress.

            Being the amazing hero that I am, I leave my breakfast half-eaten on the table and rush out the door. All of Papertown was a blur as I rushed through it. Everyone was still asleep, or inside, because it was early (I even wake up early to perform my heroics, also every important. Monsters usually never sleep, or sometimes sleep during the day, so this guy must have been on his way to bed when he decided to grab a bedtime snack, assuming he eats people. I should really work on using less parentheticals. Maybe I should get the Writer to give me writing lessons). Back to the story!

            So I show up at the gate of Pencil Palace and it is smashed open. This is when I get a little worried because by the looks of the wreckage, this monster is big. I pull out my razor boomerang and carefully make my way through the wrecked gate. The courtyard looks empty and quiet and actually quite nice in the morning sun. I thought about returning later and doing some training and then remembered why I was there. I continued down the rock path without incident. Everything was a bit too quiet. Suddenly I hear Master Pencil shout, “Paperman, look out!”. I look up and see Master Pencil with a long tentacle wrapped around him on the roof of Pencil Palace. I then see three more tentacles coming at me.

Pencil Palace is extremely tall but these tentacles looked like they were long enough to reach me, so I dive out of the way and they crash into the steps where I was standing, cracking them. I recover and throw my boomerang, cutting the tentacles in half. They spurt purple liquid and the monster recoils. I brace myself for another attack when I see the monster jump from the roof of the palace. It was hard to make out as it made its way to the ground because it was silhouetted against the sun but when it hit the ground I could see that it was green with a round body, one giant eye with a circular mouth right below it full of razor-sharp teeth and tentacles coming out of it at every angle.

The creature tossed Master Pencil to the ground and let out an ear-piercing screech. I watched as the tentacles I had cut off grew back and shed the old ones I had cut off. It then threw a flurry of tentacles (punches? Tentacle punches?) at me and I expertly jumped and flipped through them like the hero I am, cutting and hacking with my boomerang as I went.

 Now I know this may be hard to believe but as we were fighting, the monster grew about one-hundred more arms and inflated itself to at least five times its original size. This did not scare me though as I leapt toward it, using my boomerang like a sword at this point. The monster had trouble with me so close to its body, awkwardly trying to grab me with its tentacles. I cut and hacked my way toward the creature, but it was useless. Every time I cut away a tentacle, another one grew back in its place. I had, however, managed to reach the creature’s body. I was actually standing eye to eye with it. Or more like mono to eye(o?) because its eye was bigger than me now. Just before I could strike it opened its giant mouth and swallowed me whole. It tried to chew me like the breakfast I was eating before I got the call from Master Pencil (yes, I was thinking about breakfast during the fight. I was hungry!), but I fought off its teeth with my razor boomerang. It was an epic battle inside the mouth of the beast until it finally spit me out.

I was now covered in monster spit (which was blue, by the way, and really gross) and had officially lost my appetite. I braced myself for another attack, which came. The monster was angry and threw everything he had at me. I took advantage of the opportunity and found an opening in the monster’s defense, which it had left due to its rage. I threw my boomerang, letting it fly through the monster’s tentacles, which grabbed me and began to squeeze. The boomerang continued to fly and hit the monster in the eye. The creature screeched and quickly dropped me to the ground. It stomped around and slowly began to deflate like a balloon until it popped. I will not go into detail, but just imagine a giant monster popping. It was probably grosser than you can imagine. Either way, the day was saved, if not a little messy.

Master Pencil thanked me for a job well done and then called on his Eraser Crew to clean up the mess. They worked quickly as I left for home where I showered and then returned to my breakfast which I had left at the table. Fighting crime really works up an appetite and is there really any worse crime than denying yourself a meal after a long, hard day of heroism?