Time Loop

“Do you see her?  The one over there, all alone.”  A couple of popular girls were huddled together at a booth in the cafeteria, gossiping as they always do.

“Yeah, what about her?”  The brunette one enquired.  She was generally nicer than her blonde counterpart, but was quick to follow in her friend’s footsteps when they were together.

“That’s the girl.”

“That one?  The one who-”  Oh, so she had heard the rumour already.

“Yeah, keep quiet though.  No one can figure out who the guy is, but he could be anywhere.  Don’t wanna piss him off.”  Keep talkin’, blondie.  You’re about to piss me off instead.

“If he even goes here.  I heard he was way older.”

“Yeah, I heard he looked like a druggie too.”

“I wonder if she’s a druggie?”  I was slightly caught off guard by this comment.  This was the girl I’d made small talk with in Chemistry for the past 7 months.

“She’s got the look down.  Look at her clothes, she looks like she just crawled out of the garbage.”  They kept chattering, giving in to all the other rumours that have been going around.  I couldn’t stand to hear it anymore, so I walked away.

The buzzing of rumours followed me into the hallway.  Words passed from locker to locker as I walked by, soon leaving everyone talking about it as the buzz grew to a dull roar.

“How many do you think there are?”

“Whose is it?”

“Dude, does she even know?”  If anyone had even bothered to ask me, I could’ve told them that it’s not even close to what they think.

“Boy or girl?”

“How did her parents react”

“She must be a s**t.”

“No way, who would want that?”

“Maybe she got him drunk or high or something.”

“Maybe he just felt bad for her.”  The only person feeling bad for me right now is myself.  I ran out of the building and put in my headphones.  I blasted the music to block out all of their harsh, assumptuous words.  They were all wrong.

I ran home, wiping the tears from my eyes and went towards the kitchen.

“Annika, dear?”  I heard my father call for my mother.

“No, dad.  Just me.”  Every time I got home was like living the same day over and over again.  I come home, he calls for her, but it’s just me.  It’s always me.

“Oh, hello Elisabeth.  Welcome home.”

“Thanks, dad.  Love you.”

“I love you too, dear.”  His voice never had the same emptiness as mine.  Sometimes I wish he could remember what I remembered, but I know he’s happier this way.  I’ll let him live out this day, the day before it all happened, so he can be happy.  No matter how much it hurts me.  I grabbed a bag of chips and went to my room.

“I can’t tell him.  So I can’t tell anyone.”  I said as I stuffed my mouth full of the salty chips.

“I’m sorry, mom.  I can’t do it.”  Another handful.

“I’ll be the only one to miss you.”  This is how I spent the rest of my night, before falling asleep.

And tomorrow, I’ll wake up and do this all over again.  Stuck in a time loop, just like my father.  Except I’ll remember.