-If it hadn't happened-

Bit of a personal one

If it hadn't happened you wouldn't have had to bring tablets with you everywhere you went. If it hadn't happened you wouldn't have to sit aside your whole life in case something went wrong. If it hadn't happened we wouldn't have to tiptoe round with our hands over our ears ignoring the fact you'd be taken from us early. If it hadn't happened the doctors wouldn't have lied to us and told us you'd get better. If it hadn't happened you wouldn't have been confined to one room with only a breathing tube for company. If it hadn't happened I wouldn't be having nightmares about the beeping machines and false promises. If it hadn't happened I wouldn't have to dodge oxygen tanks every time I came to sit with you.If it hadn't happened I wouldn't be picking threads out of hospital blankets, hearing you reassure me you'd be home soon and me and believing you. If it hadn't happened I wouldn't have been pulled out of class to sit in the car sobbing, trying to hold myself together whilst cringing away from anyone else because they weren't her, they weren't her, they weren't her. If it hadn't happened I might've got to say goodbye.