Burst Bright Above the Heartpath

I serve that orb in heaven

That descended into your eyes

With consciousness, pure love

 

Made of star-fluff in sweetness & light

I serve the treasure of your

Very existence, that I can only find the words

 

For the quiet beauty that

Shouts from roses or

Passes us in the hushed skies

 

I serve the heart intimated

In angelic minutes never to arrive again

I serve the trusting whirl

 

The key thrilling crossroads

Of our form and suppositions

The idea of love was described

In our blood with nature's blessings. 

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Another nicely penned piece. I'm sensing a rhythm with these pieces...they are of a different nature all together. There is much more longing in your words, and a certain positivity, as though you have found the love you have been seeking.

One small spot...I'm not wild about "star-fluff"--the image strikes me as odd and out of place in such a beautiful piece.

[Eloha]

I admit star-fluff is a strange point in the piece, it's always such a pleasure to read your reviews my friend, nobody follows my poems like you do.

[Michael Thrower]

I like "Star-Fluff". It makes it exactly how the poem should be. Heavenly.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Star fluff is just too... kiddie for a poem as good as this one. When I think of heaven, Ithink of celestial, bodies, novas, mystery and bbeauty, not cotton candy... though I do like cotton candy :)

[Michael Thrower]

I thought it was a nice touch. It was innocent, rather than kiddie, which goes great with that heavenly-feeling.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

We all have our opinions I suppose...I just know this writer is capable of a better metaphor/descriptor

[YYH]

Beautiful! Very good description of love feelings.

[Kristallo]

This is a stunning piece of work. "I serve that orb in heaven, that descended into your eyes." Immaculate, and a breath taking place to begin. Beauty in words such as this has the power to excite the sensitive soul to tears; wordless and awe-stricken nirvana.

For the quiet beauty that
shouts from roses or
passes us in the hushed skies

This was exquisite, and flowed with such harmonic grace as to truly inspire and enlighten the reader with an expanded consciousness to take it all in, a drama of the mind. Nature is the author of beauty after all, we artists only struggle to mimic it's grace and glory. You have done so here with such talent and passion, and with the sweet delicacy of a tenderest moment; like a sweet kisses that lifts the soul like blossoms in the wind. "In angelic minutes never to arrive again, I serve the trusting whirl." That one is a gorgeously remarkable line. Your talent is unquestionable, sublime, and so inspiring. I can't tell you enough how beautiful and sweet I thought this was, like an impressionists painting, it's so hard to look away.

Wonderful write, Eloha.

[Eloha]

Nature does have power Kris, I'm glad you felt the subtle inches in this.

[Michael Thrower]

It's been a while since I've really reviewed any writing on here, but I'm glad that it was this specific piece I decided to click on. Not going to break everything down for you and waste your time being a critic, no, instead all I can really say is "Beautiful."

I'm not one to go crazy over poems, usually a lot I read - On here specifically - Make me want to rip my eyes out and pray the Lord let me forget what I just read. This was beautiful, like a feather falling from the sky just to land on your chest as you're resting in a hammock on a nice and comfortably warm day. I loved the vocabulary you used, and I actually liked how there was some rhyme and rhythm throughout it.

It feels like I've finally breathed in a fresh breath of air after being held under water against my own will. Thank you. Not just a plain "Good Job :D" But a thank you. From the bottom and top of my heart. Thank you for writing this, and thank you for writing.

[Eloha]

I'll take words that feel like a feather any day of the week Michael, thanks for your obvious sincerity.

[Kayleah R. Buckley]

Amazing, nicely written. I agree with girl Friday, she said it all for me.