I took a challenge to write in a specific form as I have been "formless all this time" :) It was fun, and with this simple poem I declare my undying love for my sister.
The photo was the best passport photo I have ever seen, taken a while ago and is my favorite photo of her. She still steals hearts where ever she goes. A truly beautiful soul.
The little picture was taken by my oldest daughter of her two sisters; I pray their bond is as strong as mine.
This is so adorable! The genuine love that you have shared here is absolutely beautiful and touching... I can feel every word that you have spoken for her... Being this far away from each other is so heartbreaking but this what brings you two more close to each other... I really loved the way the poem speaks up so many details about your relationship with her, the very little things about you and her is flowing in this write... I must say this is one of the sweetest dedication to a sister I have ever seen... I loved the rhyming of the poem and of course the the form you chosen... A terrific write... God bless you both of you...
Sincerely
Dhiman
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi Dhiman
I am blessed today as this is my second review from you. Thank you for your heartf.. read moreHi Dhiman
I am blessed today as this is my second review from you. Thank you for your heartfelt message it touched me and sniff left a little happy tear or two. :)
Blessings
El
Whatever the form, it's not a bit distracting to the message, as your almost-prose-like approach reads seamlessly & flows passionately . . . you describe your sister here almost like a lover (not a bad thing), there's so much intensity to the feeling. Clearly this is more about friendship than sisterhood. You don't get this kind of connection just thru a blood connection. Anyone would be supremely blessed to have experienced at least one love like this, be it romantic, familial, or companionship. Very straightforward & powerfully stated.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi Lovely lady Yes it does come across like that yet the different kinds of love run as deep as the .. read moreHi Lovely lady Yes it does come across like that yet the different kinds of love run as deep as the deepest underground rivers. We have always had this strong bond and when we do see each other its as if no one else exists. It is very true about a blood bond not being a necessity for a true bond and that friendships are essentially a deep connection. Thank you for taking a moment to review my poem. Blessings a plenty to you. El
Such a bond is an amazing blessing and a beautiful poem of sentiments and emotion. It's lovely to read such connections exist :)
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi lovely Poppy for your visit and review. Yes it is a very enriching bond and I am truly grateful .. read moreHi lovely Poppy for your visit and review. Yes it is a very enriching bond and I am truly grateful for it. :) EL
This is so adorable! The genuine love that you have shared here is absolutely beautiful and touching... I can feel every word that you have spoken for her... Being this far away from each other is so heartbreaking but this what brings you two more close to each other... I really loved the way the poem speaks up so many details about your relationship with her, the very little things about you and her is flowing in this write... I must say this is one of the sweetest dedication to a sister I have ever seen... I loved the rhyming of the poem and of course the the form you chosen... A terrific write... God bless you both of you...
Sincerely
Dhiman
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi Dhiman
I am blessed today as this is my second review from you. Thank you for your heartf.. read moreHi Dhiman
I am blessed today as this is my second review from you. Thank you for your heartfelt message it touched me and sniff left a little happy tear or two. :)
Blessings
El
This poem beautifully describes the importance of a sister relationship, it is definitely a love unlike any other. Thank you for this poem, I will now give my sister a call and tell her how much I love her. Tremendous job!
Beautiful words and thoughts shared.
"Looking at the moon
I feel so in tune,
knowing that it will shine on you.
Bound we are by blood,
boundless living flood.
Our friendship will always be true."
Distance cannot stop real friendship. I liked the photo and story told. The above lines were my favorite. Hope and love shared. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your review. I know you have a deep spirit connection with life and I appreci.. read moreThank you so much for your review. I know you have a deep spirit connection with life and I appreciate you input.
Blessings
El
8 Years Ago
You are welcome. Good to be connected to people. A lonely life is not being needed or missed.
This is a beautiful poem. First of all, congrats to you on choosing to undertake this challenge (and performing excellently in doing so!) You and your sister are both gorgeous, and this piece is absolutely lovely. All of the images/similes/metaphors you use to describe your relationship are unique and meaningful, expressing different, profound aspects of the love between you two. I absolutely love this stanza:
Looking at the moon
I feel so in tune,
knowing that it will shine on you.
Bound we are by blood,
boundless living flood.
Our friendship will always be true.
The idea of unity both through blood and through existing under the same moon is very cool. I am blessed to have three sisters, and reading this poem made me think about them and made me smile. Thank you for sharing this. It is truly wonderful. Keep up the great work!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Darling Alicia I could swear I have replied to your stunning review. Thanks you and I hope you hold.. read moreDarling Alicia I could swear I have replied to your stunning review. Thanks you and I hope you hold the close often.
Love this, my sister lives in France and I live in Canada but the distance does not break the bond.
Your sister is beautiful and this is a beautiful poem you have written for her.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you P that is so comforting knowing someone enjoyed the read. I will have a look at your writ.. read moreThank you P that is so comforting knowing someone enjoyed the read. I will have a look at your writing. :) Blessings El
Aw, El,
This poem is lovely in my form, a tender verse in homage to you and your beautiful sister … well, you're certainly beautiful, too. ; )
I know Adre (sweet name) will love it, as do I.
Your sentiments of love and affection, blended with the heartfelt and natural expressiveness of your words, leave me with a pleasant feeling of sheer delight and warmth for sisters whom adore one another so dearly … it is the treasure of a poem, El.
On the techy side: A few miscounts jumped out that can easily be sorted, your rhymes are spot-on, selected words are arranged in such a way to allow a nice flow, and your poetic voice sweetly sings … tho', your final line might read a bit smoother, with more poetic power by eliminating one of the three meaningless filler "the" words in that verse, thusly: "with our future's brightest blue skies." (just a thought shared).
El, a poetess of your caliber, you have truly honored and humbled a grateful bard by giving one of my forms a go, and you've done an exemplary job, especially considering it is your only effort, thus far.
An easier form along this line (though the rhyme scheme is challenging) you may well enjoy even more, is my Fours 'n Eights form … you can see an example here: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1774696/
Isn't it fun and gratifying to spread your poetic wings, take a fresh breath, by expanding your skills into something new?
Thank you, Dear El, for giving this form a chance, and for the Honorable mention … you've blessed my lips with a happy smile! : )
Warmest hugs 'n a bounty of joy-filled blessings! ⁓ Richard
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hi Richard More than happy to give it a go. I personally think the love for Adre is what rescues th.. read moreHi Richard More than happy to give it a go. I personally think the love for Adre is what rescues this poem as I felt it a little clumsy, yet it is early days and I will pen on. Thank you for your warm interaction and advice always welcome. I changed the to our as I thought it a good suggestion. I will now soldier on to the 4 and 8 Blessings El :)
awwwwwwwwwwwww sweet sisters! :) well deserving of a poem ...this love ... it is a great pic ... one can see the resemblance at a glance ... and worlds apart in distance ..what exciting adventures that have placed you both where you are ..sending up my little prayers for safety and well being for you both ..and for your daughters ... women can build and enjoy such strong bonds ..peace and joy my friend ..and thank you for enlightening me on the 5's and 8's ... it makes the verses read with a hint of haiku and senryu for me ...
E.
ps. your older daughter has an artists eye ... well done!!!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you for you lovely words Einstein I so appreciate your genuine nature. You write great review.. read moreThank you for you lovely words Einstein I so appreciate your genuine nature. You write great reviews and I do so love you visits.
Blessings
El
8 Years Ago
well ...i love my visits as well ;) the pic of your sister is special ..she draws one in so bewitchi.. read morewell ...i love my visits as well ;) the pic of your sister is special ..she draws one in so bewitchingly ... in a good way! pretty cool!
My childhood memories are filled with stories in spoken word. My Mother and Grandmother always told us tales. I honestly can't remember my mother ever reading to me. I have done the same for my kid.. more..