THE DAY YOU LEFT

THE DAY YOU LEFT

A Poem by Elmarie
"

For the Brave

"

The day you left


You gave me only truthful words

It warmed my yearning heart

Keeping me safely in love

I never questioned its truth

 

You gave me your beautiful body

I held it so close to mine

Always a divine embrace

I never questioned your touch

 

You gave me your valuable time

I shared it eagerly with you

Those precious moments together

I never questioned its value

 

You gave me your priceless life

When you bravely saved mine

Reliving the time you went away

Now I constantly question that day

© 2016 Elmarie


Author's Note

Elmarie
I poem to fill those moments lived by someone.

My Review

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Featured Review

This is truly innocent and heartfelt in its its nature... Tell moments we spend with our loved ones will always stay in our hearts... Their love and care and precious moments will never ever fade away from our mind... This is truly a thought provoking emotional write El which I can very much relate to... Very well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elmarie

8 Years Ago

Hi there :) and so is your lovely heartfelt review........... Nice to connect again Dhiman
<.. read more



Reviews

Perfect..I love it very much especially the last stanza...
Good job...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elmarie

8 Years Ago

Thank you lovely Meshalini I apreciate your words. Blessings El
This is a moving poem. Simple, yet profoundly heartfelt. I wasn't certain what "the day you left" might be implying until the final stanza, with the words "You gave me your priceless life / When you bravely saved mine." To me, this sounds like someone making the ultimate sacrifice - the sacrifice of their own life - to protect another. This poem is full of examples of gifts given in love. Comfort, protection, time, the gift of one's own body, and finally, of one's own life. "No greater love is there than this: to lay down one's life for a friend," and you have certainly captured this idea. Just a quick grammar thing - change "it's" to "its" in the final line of the first stanza. (That one gets me every time. :) ) Overall, this is a truly beautiful poem. Well-written and sincere. Excellent work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elmarie

8 Years Ago

Thank you Alecia for pointing out the typo always a gift to get a correction mentioned. And above a.. read more
AliciaB

8 Years Ago

You are most welcome!
I can relate to this. It's a very heartfelt poem. Nicely done, El. Blessings to you.

-William Liston

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elmarie

8 Years Ago

Thank you William It is a very simple poem and I had to force myself to stop trying to rhyme as this.. read more
your title of course let me know this was not going to end in bliss ..but still the contrast of your closing lines and all the rest of the poem brought those feelings of loss and questioning ...why did you leave, what went wrong .."was it i Lord" ..;}
guilt , blaming and grief spoil what otherwise would be a font of warm memories of a close friendship (+) that reached the point of .... time to say good bye .. (perhaps it was death that did it) doesn't matter .... i like the plain speaking use of the language ..gives me my own visuals and is also quite emotive for me .. read it twice ... just because .... it was a sad and difficult day eh!? :(
E.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elmarie

8 Years Ago

Hi Mr Noodle yes it's a simple poem with a lot of sadness and regret. Thank you for review always t.. read more

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Stats

794 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 16, 2016
Last Updated on June 20, 2016
Tags: Bravery, life saver

Author

Elmarie
Elmarie

New South Wales, Australia



About
My childhood memories are filled with stories in spoken word. My Mother and Grandmother always told us tales. I honestly can't remember my mother ever reading to me. I have done the same for my kid.. more..

Writing
TRUST TRUST

A Poem by Elmarie



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