INSTANT KARMA

INSTANT KARMA

A Watermelon Drama

 

It was on the Island of Taiwan

Where this little tale begun

I had to share it with everyone

As all can learn from this delirium!

 

I took a trip around to see

This paradise surrounded by sea

We drove around a little mountain street

On the back of the motorbike, so free!

 

Was it destined good  luck

When we came across a watermelon truck

Among the bamboo forest it stood stuck

With all its precious cargo all amock!

 

My friend took a fruit

And stuck it in my suit

No! I said I don't want this loot

Put it back you brute!

 

But he would not listen

Saying I was a little chicken

I did not expect this on our expedition

So there in juxtaposition I swallowed my Contrition!

 

We parked on a beautiful knoll

And devoured the watermelon whole

Yes the exact one we stole

Will I end up in Gaol!

 

As fate has it our bike would not start

And we pushed it like a cart

To the next town on the chart

Finding a bike shop would be smart!

 

Sixty five NT Dollars was the mechanic's bill

A stall selling watermelons still?

And there .......it was the biggest thrill

Sixty fife NT Dollars ......... if you WILL!

Author's Note

A little bit of Rhyming fun about a true story that happened to me. It's a draft really and I would not mind suggestions for changes.

Reviews

[Ewen A Morrison]

Lovely, rhyming story: says is true!/far from gory,
(she clearly loves penning a fine poetic a story;) x

Moran taing! (Many thanks! in Scottish Gaelic) Incidentally, I also love your kind review of my recently posted poem! The word which you queried, is a genuine Galic word - and I should have given a clear explanation of meaning - will edit immediately, E

[Elmarie]

Thank you Ewen :)

[AYVID N]

Oh the thrill of getting a small thing free of cost. A great story narrated with such flow and flair. I really appreciate the rhyming and the karmic lesson. Appreciated very much...

[Elmarie]

He He this little tale has been burning in me to be told, It was too blatant to ignore. Thank you for your review.

[Einstein Noodle]

i saw your smiling face on a comment you left on one of Nisreens poems and just had to stop by :)
fun story ...enjoyed the setting and the ride round ..rhythm and rhyming shakes just a bit here and there but for the most part ...well ..fun to read and enjoyable for me!
E.

[Elmarie]

Hi Einstein Noodle :) Thank you for stopping by. Yes it was a rather profound adventure. And thank you for the review. If I might ask could you please point out the parts you thought shakey as I know this is just a draft and would not mind the feedback. :)

[Einstein Noodle]

the first two lines start pretty iambic ..then its rhythm is stretched a bit ... i am no professional English anything but i fell into that rhythm in the first two lines and stumbled when it fell off just a tad :) rhyming is difficult (especially AAAA, BBBB etc.) to do and keep syntax in place ..ie " stood stuck" ... is stretching syntax :) i like the story a lot! especially that is is over a stolen watermelon (as a paper boy in my youth i knew all the fruit trees and bushes ... some were allowed but most were snitched by me ;) i hope that is helpful if you intend to re-write :)))