Haunted by the Living

A poem about the struggle of letting go of someone who lingers in your thoughts, mixing love, loss, and the pain of unrequited emotions.

I’m haunted by the smiles we shared,
The moments when I thought you cared.
The tears I shed, the waves we crossed,
Now echo back with all I’ve lost.

I’m haunted by the way you looked,
The late-night texts that had me hooked.
Even your clothes, your silly style,
Haunt me now with a ghostly smile.

I wait for texts that never arrive,
Clinging to memories to keep me alive.
I dodge your glance, yet ache to see,
The ghost you’ve left inside of me.

You’re here, but distant, out of reach,
A cruel reminder life repeats.
Your venom stings, but pulls me near,
A poison sweet, sharp, and clear.

I wish we’d never crossed that day,
I wish my heart could walk away.
I resent you, yet I hold on tight,
Fighting a war I’ve no strength to fight.

I’m haunted by the jokes we made,
By shadows that refuse to fade.
Your presence, a drug I can’t undo,
A wound that bleeds but still feels true.

Alive, you haunt me like the dead,
Your memory lingers in my head.
I’m healing slowly, breaking through,
Yet still, I’m haunted by the ghost of you.

For hell has risen where admiration once lay,
And I pray for strength with each new day.
May God release this demon’s flame,
And free my heart from endless pain.

Author's Note

How do you cope, when you can't forget someone. What helps you move on? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Reviews

[JayG]

I have to ask, from a reader’s viewpoint, what’s in it for me? This is a letter from someone unknown, directed to someone not introduced, complaining about events for which the reader has no context. For all I know, the speaker is the reason for whatever happened. For all I know this is an allegorical reference to a love-affair with drugs or alcohol.

As a reader, am I seeking knowledge of how the poet feels about a stranger to the reader, or, entertainment?

Readers are selfish. They want you to make THEM feel and care. As E. L. Doctorow puts it, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” But in this, you’re talking about your having been rained on.

Poets have a superpower. By placement and choice of words we can make the reader feel the emotion we choose. We can make someone we will never meet laugh, or cry—which beats the hell out of making them say, “Uhh...okay. I hope things get better for you.”

Sure, we can tell the reader that we cried at a funeral. But using the poet’s superpower we can make the READER weep. And as silly as it may sound, they thank us for it.

One thing that’s getting in the way is that you’re often bending the line to the needs of the rhyme, which skews the thought. Look at the flow.

S1: Someone is thinking back to better times, and regretting that things changed in some undefined way, for unspecified events.

S2: This person is fondly thinking back to the way this person looked and acted.

S3: I’m a bit lost: This person is waiting for the other one to reach out and communicate, so, it appears that they WANT it to happen. But at the same time they’re deliberately “dodging” their glance? That makes no sense. But, you needed a rhyme, so...

S4: When you say: “You’re here, but distant, out of reach, A cruel reminder life repeats.” How is this person “here?” What can “Life repeats” mean to a reader who has no clue of what their relationship was like or the experiences they shared?

S5: I have not a clue of what this is supposed to mean. Why does this unknown person wish they’d never met? The mere fact of it is data, only, because the reader has no context.

The really short version: Don’t talk TO the reader. That’s a nonfiction approach that’s inherently dispassionate.

My favorite example of emotion-based poetry is the lyric to the song, "The Twelfth of Never," released in 1957. Look at the opening:
- - - - -
You ask how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.
You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
- - - - -
Notice the clever trick played on the reader: The speaker is replying to a question the reader supposedly asked, placing that reader INTO the poem, as the beloved who has asked that question. And since the question is one we might ask of someone who loves us, the answer is inherently interesting (especially since, if it’s a good answer we might use it).

So with “You ask,” and without realizing why, the reader is emotionally involved. To me, that’s brilliant writing, because this one makes the rest of the poem meaningful to the reader.

In response to the question of how long their commitment will last, the speaker dismisses it as supposedly obvious. Yet it’s a critical question, so the seeming disconnect again draws the reader in, with the unspoken comment of, "Well yes, you absolutely must tell me, because I need to know." So, given the attitude placed into the reader with that thought, we WANT to hear the response, and it feels as if it's directed at us. And that is a HUGE hook. Right?

The response is 100% allegorical. It says, in effect, “I can’t live without you,” but does it in a pretty, and interesting way.

The question/answer sequence then continues with a clever twist, Love will end, but on a date that’s an impossibility.

It’s 100% emotion-based writing. It calls up context that already exists in the reader/listener’s mind. But even had they never heard the expression “like roses need rain,” it would be instantly meaningful.

It’s part of a song, but this first verse, for me, is a perfect example of emotion-based poetry.

Let's take it one step further, and look at the FLOW. It's metrical poetry, so it rhymes. But notice that the rhymes aren't the obvious Moon/June type, and the words fit the thought so well that the rhyme seems incidental, an accent rather than a drumbeat. And each line has the same cadence: seven beats per line that the reader, or singer, will fall into, enhancing the experience.

Make sense?

The problem behind the problem, as I see it, is that for the author, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in our mind. But too often, for the reader, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in *OUR* mind, because we forget to give the context that will make the words meaningful to the reader.

Aside from the great lyrics, it’s a pretty song. The most popular version of it was recorded by Johnny Mathis in 1958 A live recording, later in his career, is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnPnSjCUnc

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain