Man Enough

I think the poem pretty much describes itself.

 

With all apologies accepted

I’m not asking for forgiveness

Just tell me to let you go

And forever I will hold you close

But this pain is something I can’t bear

This love is getting me nowhere

I feel ashamed to tell you this

And turn away now from your kiss

I know that you don’t understand

But please don’t try to hold my hand

This sun is going down on us

It seems to go by pretty fast

I knew that we would never last

But one thing I never dreamed of

I’d love another like myself

Guess that’s the reason for this split

Take from the heart another hit

Inside myself with bleeding mind

Fall out in pieces fall behind

I cannot do this anymore

So let me go don’t hold so tight

I’m falling back now out of sight

Don’t try to find me once again

This thing is too hard for you to understand

But in the end it all comes down

To what it is that turns me upside down

Don’t want this to sound very rough

But babe I’m just too man enough

To go about and be with you

Two hearts that need a bunch of glue

But still will fall apart in the end

I don’t think I’ll ever call you friend

I know I said that I love

But babe I’m not in love with you

So let me go I’m not so close

Dry your tears and wipe your nose

Don’t want this to sound very rough

But babe I’m just too man enough

Reviews

[Kris]

Every writer will someday hear the words "show, don't tell". Some imagery would make this a much stronger piece. For what it is, I'm not certain how to take it. It's never really clear who's breaking up with who, or what's really going on. Why is he tired of her? Why is there so much pain? What caused it? Did she cheat on him? Is he tired of her? Is he bored with her? Not enough information is given to feel one way or the other about any of the people in this piece. In fact, you give just enough to suggest that the woman in the relationship is the one in pain and is crying and the man prompted the split, which seems to lean more toward the man doing something to the woman. But it could go either way, and that's your problem. If you want your audience to be emotionally invested in a poem you have to give them a toehold somewhere, or a little exposition into exactly what caused this rift. Otherwise, the audience won't care or they'll make assumptions.

Cheers.