Salty ocean air swiftly flew into my nostrils, the new fresh air that had just been viciously recycled by the cold British sea. As I stood on the old brick wall looking out to the shapeless sky, the only thing I could think about was the single piece of lonely hair trailing down the curved back of the girl sitting on the beach alone like the piece of hair floating in the wind. That single piece of hair lost and forgotten.
I started thinking about her life, she could have been considering the same thing as me and I wouldn’t have known, maybe her situation was worse and there’s her staring in to the deep, endless ocean nothing else. I considered walking up to her; the sand between my toes and the rocks digging into my feet the long walk to get to her. I would sit down slowly. She’d be startled at first, but then, but then I’d just talk. I’d tell her about my life, tell her everything. I’d tell her secrets I hadn’t even told the people closest to me. For no reason, I would wonder for years later why that girl. I would never find an answer.
She would tell about her life, her family, friends, her deepest darkest secrets and fears. I would know her better than anyone. We’d talk for hours non-stop until the sea starting creeping in on us and we would wonder in the days to come how time went so quickly. We would have both known it was only for that day we’d walk our separate ways and live our lives and never talk about the day we had spent together.
But that only happened in the movies.
I took one breath of that fresh new sea air and stepped off the ledge.
Flying, that’s what falling felt like, flying. I spread my arms as the ferocious wind pulled back my face, freedom was just ahead of me. The hard ground opened its unforgiving arms but I just couldn’t wait to reach it. Anything would be better than this life, than my life. I couldn’t cope anymore, the loneliness, the hopelessness. The freezing air that surrounded me was my only companion, the only friend I will ever have. What felt like forever must have taken for seconds, I so desperately wanted to reach the floor quicker so I wouldn’t have any regrets that were the only thing I never wanted to have. Tears began to stream out of my dull brown eyes as the frightened screams of passers by began to stare and point. There’s nothing they can do to help, nothing they could ever do to help someone like me. The screams ringing in my ears, thoughts flooded into my mind again and again. Darkness . My stinging eyes fluttered opened as the wind caught in my throat, the wind chucking around my hair and my breathing unusually fast. For today I carefully got down off the old brick wall, left the girl on the beach, left the brown mucky sea and made the ground close its unforgiving arms. Because for today I would be, tomorrow maybe not.